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“Does this have anything to do with Marina and your decision to take Julian’s place the last few weeks?”
He nodded. His mother had inquired about his arrangement with the queen before, but he hadn’t divulged the full details. He did so now and watched fury contort her features.
“That bitch!”
“Mother!” he said, shocked. In all his years, he’d never heard his mother refer to the queen in that manner.
“I can’t believe she used me to gain your obedience.” She turned her heated gaze on him. “And I’m furious you let her do it!”
He widened his eyes. “What was I supposed to do? Sit by and let her force you out of your home? Out of this family?”
“I think you forget which one of us is the parent in this relationship. I don’t need your protection. I’m an adult woman.”
“Have you and Dani been comparing notes?” he muttered.
“No, but we’re both very smart women so maybe you should listen to us. By the way, I was sad I didn’t get the chance to say good-bye, but she did text me the next day. Now tell me how Dani got entangled in this.”
He did, briefly summarizing the situation. “We’d agreed to not get involved in each other’s business, so when the queen asked and she changed her mind, I thought she was doing it for you. Instead, she had this whole issue with her business that she didn’t tell me about. That’s why she was eager to participate in all the royal events.”
“I see,” Calanthe said slowly. “What did you want her to do?”
“She should’ve come and told me!”
“The way you came to talk to me?”
He opened his mouth to respond. Then closed it.
Calanthe sighed. “I agree she should have told you, but that’s not what’s really tormenting you, is it? What is it? What has you so upset?”
He took a deep breath. “What if shewasusing me all along? How will I ever know if she wants me for me or for my family? I thought I knew, but I was wrong.”
“Oh, Jameson. I know what I saw between the two of you and I have no doubt that her feelings are genuine. Yes, she should’ve been honest, but didn’t you withhold something important from her after the tribute?”
“And she made me promise to never do it again. Then she turned around and did the same thing!”
“Because, my darling, both of you are suffering from the same ailment. You’ve been defined by the death of someone integral to you when you were children. You come from different backgrounds, which means your experiences and attitudes about that event may have differed, but you’re both still reacting to it, making choices and decisions based on what happened to you.”
His head jerked back. How had he been so blind?
His father’s death and the circumstances surrounding it had played a major role in who he’d grown up to be. So many of the choices he’d made could be linked to the belief he’d formed after that seminal event. Needing to protect his mother. Wanting a life away from the royal spotlight. Keeping the woman he loved away from the Company. It’s what his mother and grandfather had done for him.
And he’d tried to do that for Dani.
But she’d continued to fight him, probably because she was dealing with her own issues, and the emotional fallout from the death of her grandmother had affected her in ways he’d never imagined. He thought back over their conversations where she’d talked about her life.
“Have you ever had your utilities turned off? Or come home to find a ‘pay or quit’ notice on your door?”
“I’ve been taking care of myself since I was fourteen.”
“—I told myself I’d never be in that position again.”
Was it any wonder she craved a say in her own life and the means to make it happen?
“There you go. I can see you using that big brain of yours,” his mother said, brushing a lock of hair off his forehead. “It’s amazing what you can figure out when you’re not instinctively reacting in hurt.”
“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t been able to move past the hurt since she left.”
“Now that you have a better understanding, maybe you can give her what you were asking for. Faith and a little trust.”
