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“Great. Hopefully, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell her.
“Sure. See you then!”
Pushing aside the guilt, I hang up the phone and make my way to where Emma is nestled on her bean bag, engrossed in playing with a noisy kiddie laptop that yells out the alphabet and plays music.
“Good morning, sweetie,” I greet her.
“Mommy!” she cries.
She runs to the gate. She lifts her arms, gesturing for me to pick her up like I do every morning. I’m not sure if I can manage it this morning.
“Mommy’s sick, honey. We need to stay home today,” I tell her. “We can snuggle and watch movies all day,” I suggest. I’m not sure if I can manage anything more than that.
She pouts at me. “Poor Mommy. I’ll take care of you!”
She’s so sweet. “Okay, thank you. No pick-ups today, though. I don’t want to get any of my germs on you.”
She tilts her head cutely as she thinks. “Okay,” she agrees.
“Come on, you can get in my bed today.”
“Yay!” the young girl cheers.
As soon as I open the baby gate, she runs out of her room and down the corridor. I watch as she jumps onto my bed, and as predicted, starts bouncing. I’ll let her get it out of her system while I grab her an easy breakfast. I make my way downstairs slowly and grab her some fruit and a cereal bar and make her a cup of milk. I finally make it back upstairs and place the food down on the bottom of the bed before I settle back into bed.
“Be careful,” I tell Emma as she sits down and starts eating like she’s ravenous. Watching her makes my stomach churn a little.
I send a text message to our group chat with Blake and Olivia, keeping them in the loop.Hey guys, not feeling well today. Taking a sick day and keeping Emma home just in case it’s contagious. Sorry. Tell Ethan we’re both okay, I know he worries. xo.
Almost immediately, Olivia responds with a supportive message.Take care, Lil. Feel better soon :( Let us know if you need anything!
Blake’s response comes a little later, his words filled with concern.Rest up, Lily. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to reach out. Take care of yourself and Emma.
Their understanding and support bring a sense of comfort amidst the feeling of guilt for staying home from work. It’s a reminder that I’m loved and it’s okay to take time for myself when I need to.
I put on Netflix, choosing a show with animals for Emma since she loves bunnies the most right now. I lie there watching it with her, feeling the exhaustion seeping into my bones, making every movement feel like a Herculean task. My mind races with worry as I contemplate what could be causing this sudden illness. I hope it’s just a bug, something that will pass with time.
“Are you going to throw up, mommy?” Emma asks, scooting over to me and gently touching my head.
I manage a weak smile. “No. I don’t think so. I think I caught a bug though, sweetie. But don’t worry, it’s nothing serious. We’ll just have a cozy day at home together, okay?”
Emma’s face lights up at the prospect of a day spent with me. She climbs into the duvet beside me, snuggling close gently. We spend the day watching movies, cocooned in blankets, and sipping warm tea. The distraction of the films helps alleviate the discomfort for a while, and I find solace in the simplicity of these precious moments with my daughter.
In the quiet moments between films, I reflect on my decision to keep Emma home. I feel bad taking her away from Ethan for the day, but I want to protect him, even from the possibility of catching whatever illness has befallen me. I’m worried about her, too. I hope I haven’t made her sick. The responsibility of motherhood weighs heavy on my shoulders, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Emma’s happiness and well-being are my top priority.
As the afternoon wears on, I find myself drifting in and out of consciousness. Emma’s soft voice and gentle touch bring me back to the present, grounding me in the reality of our shared day together. In a lull between movies, Emma leans against me, her head resting on my shoulder. She looks up at me with her innocent eyes, filled with love and trust.
“Mommy, I’m glad we’re spending the day together. I love you.” A warmth spreads through my chest, despite my weariness. Emma’s words touch my heart, reminding me that even in moments of vulnerability and uncertainty, the love of my daughter remains a constant source of strength.
It isn’t until partway through the day, amidst the laughter and cuddles, that a realization develops in the back of my mind.
My period. It’s late this month.
Now usually, this wouldn’t have me worrying. I think back to the night I spent with Blake. We were careful, but these things do happen. I try to push the nagging worry aside, convincing myself that it’s just stress or a hormonal imbalance. But deep down, the uncertainty still eats away at me.
When Emma drifts off to sleep, her small body curled up beside me, I find myself lost in a sea of conflicting emotions. Fear, hope, and uncertainty swirl in my mind, creating a whirlwind of thoughts. What if? What if my late period is a sign of something more? The possibilities, both terrifying and exciting, flood my thoughts, leaving me overwhelmed.
I reach for my phone, my fingers trembling as I type in the search bar.Late period, causes.The screen illuminates countless articles and forums, each offering insights and anecdotes. I scroll through the information, my heart racing as I absorb the possibilities.
