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And then there were times he softened. He never punished without soothing afterwards. He took his duty of aftercare seriously. He kissed, he held me close and cuddled me into his muscled chest while stroking my hair repeatedly. He bathed me and cared for me in ways I didn’t know possible. The more Stefano punished, the more he loved. The yin and yang of his sadist self was more than I could ask for. These months at the manor were the most fulfilling relationships that I had ever experienced. The two of them joined together as one into my soul.
I tried my best not to think about the day I would have to leave them both when I was with Stefano. If I brought it up in conversation with him, he would bend me over and sear my behind. It was not to be spoken of in his presence. And even Thomas didn’t like to talk about it. They had a mission. A plan.
Fighting back tears, I decided that I needed to speak with Stefano, even though I knew it would result in comeuppance. “Stefano,” I said tentatively. “I was hoping I could discuss something with you.” I had to act now. I needed to bring it up in my own way before Thomas spoke to him and the two of them shut it down completely without any input from me.
He looked up from his meal with annoyance in his eyes. “No.”
His sharp answer took me by surprise, but I swallowed back the lump in my throat and carried on. “Once I’m pregnant—”
He looked up at me with wide eyes. “Are you?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “But once I am—”
“My brother and I have it all planned out,” he interrupted. “You have nothing to worry about. But your time paying for your actions will be over. So, you should be happy about that.”
“So, when I leave the manor—”
Stefano swallowed the last bite of his meal before speaking in a deep and menacing voice. “We will discuss this once we know you are definitely pregnant. No reason to discuss this now.”
“I was speaking to Thomas before he left about… about staying with the two of you. Not being shipped off to some hidden location.”
“No.”
“I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to leave your brother.”
“I don’t care.”
“I don’t believe you,” I said without pause. “I think you do care. And no matter what you and your brother say, I think you feel the same way about me that I feel about you.”
“This conversation is over.”
“Stefano…”
“I said no,” he snapped.
“How can you stare at me like that and feel nothing?” I asked as my voice cracked and wavered. “Am I truly nothing more than a body? Just a surrogate for your baby?”
“That’s what you are.”
His words shattered my heart. Why did he have the power over me to do so? Why did I feel this pull toward a man who had never led me to believe there was anything more? He had only caused me pain—both physically and mentally. So why? Why did his words stab at me? He hadn’t made any promises. He had never whispered sweet nothings. I should know how he would act. I should know how he would feel. But my heart took over.
“I have sat across from you at this table for months. We have had sex. You have demanded my submission in the most intimate of ways, and I have given it to you. Please. I know you have to feel something more. I can feel it in your touch.”
“I touch you in order to keep you in line. To make you pay for your betrayal and to guarantee it will never happen again. Nothing more.”
“Not true.”
He looked at me with the most severe warning look I had yet seen.
I cleared my throat and tried to keep my voice calm and steady. “I can see. I notice what you do. When you spank me, you also dip your finger between my folds to see that I am wet. My arousal is important to you. When a punishment is over and I’m crying, you wait with me until my tears cease. You want to care for me. You want to give me comfort because you feel more even though you aren’t capable of admitting that to yourself. You want this because you do feel something for me. So does your brother. I know this. I feel this. You both are lying if you say otherwise.”
“Hailey…” His warning sent a shiver up my spine, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I knew I wasn’t wrong. I couldn’t be. These two men were just too stubborn to see.
“I’m not asking for love right away. I’m not asking for you to be someone you aren’t or can’t be. I’m just asking for you and your brother to be honest. This hasn’t been easy for me. I’m not usually this open and free with my feelings, but you and Thomas made me this way. It’s because of you two that I can say how I feel. I hunger for you. You wake up a passion inside of me that salivates to be quenched. You spark a flame inside. When we made love—”
