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Mac rubbed my back for a few seconds and then sighed. “This probably isn’t the best time, but I was wondering where I fit into all of this.”
He’d stood patiently by while I sorted out the new B&B, and now he wanted answers. Answers I couldn’t give him. “I don’t know what to say. I can’t be there for everyone when I need to be there for my guests. Out of anyone, you should understand.”
He looked away from me. “I want to be there for you, but I need to know that there’s a place for me somewhere.”
“I can barely take care of Delaney right now.” My shoulders lowered.
“She deserves better.”
“Don’t you think I know that?”
“It doesn’t look like it from where I’m standing. You’re not hiring any help. You’re taking on everything yourself, and I can’t stand by while you do that.”
Anger churned in my gut. “I didn’t ask you to.”
“I’m going to go.”
I bit my lip. “I don’t want you to.”
“You have some things to figure out. I don’t think I should be here while you do.”
“Is this you just walking away from a relationship because you’re afraid?” I was racking my brain for what he’d said about his exes. Maybe this wasn’t about me at all.
“For the first time, I’m asking for what I want. I love you. I want to be with you, but not like this. I want all of you.”
“That’s not even possible,” I murmured, still not processing that he loved me and was walking away from me.
“You’re taking on too much. You’re worn down, exhausted. You can’t do everything you need to because you’re doing too much.”
I shook my head, trying to process everything he was saying. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
Mac shook his head. “You need to figure things out, and I can’t stand by while you self-destruct.”
That wasn’t what was happening. He was wrong.
He moved toward the door, and I couldn’t do anything but watch him go as my stomach dropped to the floor. He was leaving. He was walking away from me and Delaney. “What about Delaney?” I finally asked.
“I’m not walking away from her. If she wants to see Rocky or hang out at the playground, call me.”
I wouldn’t. If he was breaking up with me, then I’d sever the connection. I wouldn’t let him stick around like Carter had. He wasn’t her father, and I ignored the tiny voice that said he was more of a father to her than Carter ever was.
I couldn’t believe I’d been on a high yesterday from the ribbon-cutting ceremony and the party, while today, it felt like I had crashed.
I’d lost Mac. Delaney was angry with me. I was failing in my personal life, and I hadn’t even gotten off the ground with my business. I wasn’t doing anything right.
But I still needed to make dinner and check in with the guests. I couldn’t find a soft place to roll into a ball and give in to the despair creeping through my body.
Why did it feel like the guests got more of me than my loved ones?
While I made boxed mac and cheese, I paused when I remembered Mac had said he loved me. When had that happened? Did I feel the same? I felt too overwhelmed with the inn to think of anything else.
Why couldn’t Mac just give me more time? Everything would have gotten better with time.
Delaney ate very little for dinner and asked to go to her room afterward. I didn’t have the heart to argue with her. I left her with the phone and said I needed to check in the new guests, who would be arriving any minute.
I smiled and greeted them, making sure the other guests were comfortable and didn’t need anything. Even if I wanted to talk to Mac tonight, I couldn’t.
I thought I’d feel accomplished once the B&B was open, but instead, I felt trapped under a crushing weight. The worst part was, I couldn’t be there for Delaney when she was home. The B&B would always be beckoning.
