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Even if I thought it was a mistake to open the B&B, it was too late to do anything now. I couldn’t sell it. Not when I’d put all my savings into it. I had to recoup my costs.
But as upsetting as the reality of business ownership was, I didn’t want to sell. I wanted it to be a success. I didn’t want to be as hands-on as I thought. Everything I read said you needed to learn from your mistakes and pivot. But I had no idea what I could do, not with the lack of funds I was faced with.
I’d hoped the attention from opening day would fill the remaining vacancies, but when I checked the reservations, my stomach dropped. There were none. How was that even possible?
I’d need to wait for the news article to hit the papers. The media attention was local, and I probably needed people from around the world to see it.
How could I get more reach? Everyone said I’d rely on the reviews of the first guests to spread the word on travel sites. I’d need to hope these guests left reviews. What if they didn’t?
So, I’d need to be very accommodating and available to guests. At a time when I suspected I needed to give more attention to those in my personal life, it wasn’t possible. I felt so torn. So utterly hopeless.
I pulled out my phone and scrolled to the text chain with Mac. There was nothing else to say except I was sorry. What was the point in apologizing when nothing was going to change. Not yet anyway. I put my phone away without sending a message. Maybe if I slept on it, a solution would come to me.
I couldn’t approach Mac unless I altered how I was operating the business. I needed to make some changes and prove to him and Delaney that I could handle the business and my personal life. And until I figured it out, there was no point in having a conversation with Mac about our relationship. It wasn’t fair to him.
Even if the way he left was ripping me apart inside, I wanted to fix it, but I couldn’t. Not yet. I stupidly waited for a response to my text, but there wasn’t one.
All the guests were inside for the night and had a keycard that gave them access to the front door as well as their rooms. They were free to come and go as they pleased. As I made my way back to my apartment, I wondered if I should hire someone to man the desk twenty-four seven.
If I hired someone, it would save money if I could offer them free room and board. But then, I’d need to find a place to live with Delaney. I couldn’t ask to move in with Mac. Not when he’d walked out.
Delaney stayed cooped up in her room for the rest of the night, which gave me too much time to ruminate. By the time I tucked her into bed, my head was throbbing.
There was a knock on my door around nine just as I was about to head to bed for a sleepless night. It was Alice and Kylie.
“What are you guys doing here?” I asked, pushing the door open wider so they could come inside.
“Mac said you might need us.”
I waved a hand. “He didn’t have to do that. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? Because you don’t look fine,” Alice said as she set the grocery bag on the counter and pulled out a pint of ice cream and plastic spoons. She lifted the lid and handed me a spoon.
I didn’t hesitate to dig in. I couldn’t taste the flavor, but it was cool on my tongue. “Don’t I look fine?”
“I mean, you’re standing,” Kylie said with a grimace, as she scanned me from head to toe.
“I look that bad?” I asked as I sat on the stool.
Alice grimaced. “You don’t look good.”
“Did Mac tell you he left? We’re broken up. At least, I think we are.” I stuck a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, feeling a little hysterical admitting it out loud. I’d finally found myself a good man, but I couldn’t get my shit together to be the woman he needed.
After his past, I should have made more of an effort to reassure him everything was fine. But there was a part of me that was a little irritated he couldn’t see that I needed time.
“You’ve been working a lot. He’s worried about you,” Alice finally said.
Both of my friends seemed a little afraid of what to say to me. I wondered if they were even on my side. “I just opened the B&B. It’s stressful and busy, and I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m so scared that whatever I do won’t be enough.”
“Did you tell Mac this?” Alice asked carefully.
“Well, yeah.” I mean, hadn’t we talked about it a million times? Or maybe I’d just said I was tired and needed to work more without explaining to him what was going on in my head. “I think so.”
Alice sighed. “He feels like you shut him out.”
I paused spoon midair. “Ishut him out?”
Alice nodded. “That’s what he said to Sam.”
