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“Wasn’t going to,” Kyle says with a shrug as he picks up Gracie one-handed and slings her on his hip like a baby, though her legs dangle down well below his knees. “Even when Mom tried telling me I had to. But Grandma asked me to stop by, and you know I can’t tell her no. Just running a little late. Stacey’s mom says sorry.”
I was half believing him until that last bit. Kyle clearly meant to show up, but only in a way that’d make the biggest splash. He lives to piss off Dad, and bonus points if it embarrasses him too.
I've always considered it childish, still do mostly, but I can see how Dad’s expectations of all of us have shaped our behaviors toward him, if not toward the family as a whole. Dad never gave Kyle attention, so naturally, Kyle did more and more outrageous things in an attempt to get some, negative or positive. But at some point, Kyle needs to quit fucking around and be his own man despite Dad.
“This is what he does to make Dad mad if he’s asked to do something he doesn’t want to,” I quietly explain to Samantha. “Should’ve seen Christmas.” When she looks at me questioningly, I cover my mouth with my hand and whisper dramatically, “Oh, I’ve seen some shit between the two of them. Your professors could do an entire series on how messed up they are. The horror... the horror.”
Samantha smirks at my quote. “Apocalypse Now? Really?”
“You know, Kyle, it’s my birthday, and that was quiterude,” Aunt Viv says primly before I can reply. “I was just telling everyone about Devin’s—” She gestures to her son, trying to get attention back to her golden child.
“Latest and greatest? I’ll bet,” Kyle interjects with an audible eye roll even though his blue eyes stay locked on his latest target—Devin. Smirking and throwing his voice high and animated like he’s talking to a toddler, Kyle says, “Yeah, lil buddy, how’s your fantasy football league going? Do you think you’re gonna win the Superbowl? Goooo Devinators!”
“Wha— why, I never!” Aunt Viv exclaims.
“Kyle!” Dad shouts, losing his cool. “Sit down and behave or I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
He’s attempting to draw a line in the sand, but Kyle’s always happy to stomp right over those so I don’t know why Dad tries. As much as Kyle needs to get his shit together, Dad needs to quit trying to shove Kyle into a box that he’s never been remotely close to fitting into.
Kyle smiles widely at Dad, malicious compliance in his eyes. “Sure thing.” He struts over to Grace’s chair and plops down roughly. If Gracie wasn’t in his lap, he’d probably throw his boots up on the table to needle Dad even more. “What’re we talking about?”
“Hmph, well, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, Devin has something important—”
“Oh, shit, you really were still harping on him? I thought I’d timed it to miss all that. Pity,” Kyle says, interrupting once more. Reaching out, he snags a dino nugget from Gracie’s plate. “Open up, Graciesaurus.”
“Next time, I’ll text you when the coast’s clear,” Cole offers straight-faced. Kyle plops the nugget in Gracie’s mouth and holds up a fist. Though they’re far away at the table, Cole holds one up too, and they air-fist bump.
A staff member sets a plate of pork roast in front of Kyle, and he picks up Grace’s unused fork. “Good food, good meat, good God, let’s eat.” He stabs the biggest slice of roast and lifts it like a leg of lamb, taking a huge bite out of it while letting the rest stay on the tines. He sits back, chewing thoughtfully, and for some reason, we all watch in silence.
I don’t know how he does it. I think mostly he just shocks everyone to the point they don’t argue with whatever stupid stunt he’s pulling. He’s like a walking, talking, living car crash you can’t turn away from.
Glancing around the table, he pauses on Samantha, and I can feel my hackles rising. He can be the Black Sheep of the family if he chooses, but he’s not going to fuck with Samantha.
Pointing at her with his meat-laden fork, he says, “I know you.” It’s a statement, but his eyes are questioning, trying to place her.
Gracie answers before anyone else. “Uncle Kyle, that’s Samantha. Luna’s friend. Well, now I think she’s Uncle Chance’s friend too.” The last part is whispered in the vicinity of Kyle’s ear, but Grace has zero concept of volume control so we all hear it.
Kyle’s eyes pop to me and then back to Samantha, trying to fit the puzzle pieces together.
“You’re withhim?” Kyle asks Samantha.
“Yes, but don’t worry, as I’ve already explained to everyone else... I’m not a gold digger. I’m only in it for the dick,” Samantha says evenly, as if saying it’s a beautiful night outside.
I should’ve known not to worry about her. If anyone can deal with Kyle, it’d be her.
“What?” Aunt Vivian sputters.
“Oh, yeah, you weren’t here for that part. Sorry.” Samantha smiles, serene as can be, as she apologizes to Vivian, who’s still sputtering at the crude comment.
Kayla, apparently trying to smooth things over, leans over and whispers something in Kyle’s ear. From the look on her face, I’m guessing she’s trying to play peacemaker, but who knows?
Suddenly, Devin stands up, pushing his chair back to give himself room between his mother and girlfriend. “To get things back on a positive note, I’d like to say something. I know Mom doesn’t ask for much, but I thought this was the best birthday gift I could give her. And the most fitting.”
Devin gets down on one knee and, as several gasps fill the room, reaches into his jacket pocket to pull out a ring.
I have a moment of complete confusion. Ring plus down on his knee should equal a proposal. But Devin said this is a gift for his mom.
Oh, fuck, is he proposing to his mother?!
