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I wanted to tell them all to shut up, all my men clinging to their unresolved dramas and unspoken pain, but Leo beat me to the punch.
“Why don’t we try going on a silent six-hour drive?” he proposed, and I felt a twinge of sadness. His knuckles had turned white gripping the steering wheel, his noble attempt at regaining control of the situation.
August scoffed in disbelief, “A silent drive? That sounds terrible.”
Surprisingly, Leo’s voice was gentle and kind when he offered, “You could always sleep.” His words reminded me of when August was younger and Leo tried his best to keep him in line. It sent a wave of nostalgia throughout my body.
August pouted, a glassy sheen of desperation coating his eyes. “I’m not tired. Remember when you used to bore me with stories from your days at the military academy to get me to sleep?”
Leo grunted, momentarily unable to respond, and the awkwardness of the silence settled.
August nodded excitedly, a glimmer of hope beneath his words. “Okay. Let’s do that.”
I swallowed a bitter laugh, immediately regretting having allowed myself such an indulgence. August never ceased to amaze me with his ability to disarm stress and tension with empty words and nonchalance. Though his lack of genuine emotion was sometimes disconcerting, it was also something he was admittedly good at, avoiding feasible confrontations and allowing him to pretend everything was alright.
“I guess I’m supposed to tell you a story,” Leo said with a glum expression, his voice trailing off into an empty silence.
August leaned forward in anticipation, a coy grin tugging at the corner of his lips. “Oh, this should be good.”
“Fine,” Leo spat out in a resigned tone. He cleared his throat, gathering his thoughts before beginning. “As you know, I went off to the military academy at eighteen. The first few months were hell; I was young and stupid and had no clue what I was doing. The others were mostly a year older than me, and they loved having someone they could pick on. But I was determined to prove myself, so I kept pushing forward.”
He took a moment to chuckle darkly at the memory before continuing. I tightened my hold around Atticus’s arm, feeling the weight of Leo’s story pressing down on me. He slowly recounted his experience of being mistreated, always striving for acceptance, but never quite grasping it. His words painted an image of a confused young man battling with his demons, desperately seeking an escape while trying to find himself.
Leo’s voice was barely a whisper in the confined space of the car. “Like a fool, I decided to enlist. Everyone said it was a mistake. But there was one guy, another guard trainee named Darren, who took me under his wing. He was one year older than me. He warned me about the perils of war and told me to keep my mouth shut if I wanted to survive. I didn’t, but I listened to him anyway. He was a real good guy. The kind you don’t find so often nowadays.”
The darkness inside the car seemed to deepen as Leo fumbled for the words he knew would come next. “He was killed in action not long after that.” Leo paused for a brief moment to collect himself. His voice grew husky, barely a whisper in the confines of the car. “I was pretty messed up because of it…so when an assignment came up for the castle, I applied without thinking twice. I didn’t think I’d get in, but this pain in the ass, spoiled rotten playboy—”
“That’s me,” August interjected with a wry smile.
“—Augustus,” Leo continued with a hollow chuckle, “was a handful, and no one else wanted the job. So I thought, ‘What the heck? It’s better than going off to die in some overseas conflict.’” His laughter died out. “Wasn’t quite sure what I’d gotten myself into…but here we are. I thought for sure I wouldn’t last a day,” Leo added. “But I guess I learned how to be a good guard. Protect him while giving him his space. I wanted to quit a million times—”
Atticus made an uncomfortable sound in the back of his throat. “But you decided it was worth it, putting up with August, when you met Christine.”
Leo’s gaze flicked to the rearview mirror, meeting my eyes. “It wasn’t exactly love at first sight,” he admitted sheepishly. “She was young. I was protective of her innocence, her gentle demeanor. She reminded me of a broken toy, and I wanted to put her back together. It was painful to see a gentle creature like that in a cruel castle, and I felt compelled to help her.”
His voice softened almost to a whisper. “The first time I saw her…it was like seeing a fairy princess in the castle gardens. She seemed almost unaware of the world around her. I was mesmerized by her beauty and vulnerability. But I never wanted to be with her in that way. I just wanted to keep her safe.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard and looked away.
August’s gaze was drawn to the window, like a moth to the flame. As the cityscape zoomed past, August appeared deep in thought. He turned to Leo and spoke in a soft voice, a gentle plea, like a cry in the night. “I know you wanted to protect me and take care of me, too, Leo. Can’t you just admit it? One positive thing? My heart can’t take another rejection from you.”
Atticus laughed. August rolled his eyes and sighed.
Leo looked thunderstruck and uttered barely anything but a sullen, “I guess.”
August snorted and crossed his arms. “It’s called communication, dude. I’m hoping for compliments, and you’re coming up with zilch.”
“Jesus Christ,” Leo said, letting out a pained sigh and pressing his palm to his forehead. “Can I just get on with the story?”
“Only if you include more bits about how much you love me, too,” August replied teasingly.
Leo gritted his teeth, white knuckling the steering wheel. “I gave August the space he asked for, working in the shadows. And I kept Christine safe, too. She wasn’t necessarily my job, but I made her my responsibility. But then something happened to the fairy princess who was blossoming into a beautiful young woman, and I…I couldn’t protect her. I failed her.” The last words were carried away in a whisper of his pain and regret.
Atticus shifted in his seat, tension radiating off of him.
“I got really good at pretending nothing happened,” Leo continued quietly. “My job was taken away from me, and I slowly disappeared inside myself. I felt like I didn’t deserve anything, or anyone… Hiding away seemed easier than facing the shame of what my failure had cost me.”
I croaked his name. It was a struggle to stay quiet; I had been pushing my emotions down, keeping them in check until now.
August shifted uncomfortably. “I guess it was hard to transition back to the castle and all its memories, huh?”
