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“The last thing I want is for my partner to not be as into something as I am. I hate that feeling of…loneliness.”
That was a loaded statement. “Loneliness?” He’d expected her to mention being a burden, since they’d discussed that heavily before.
“Yes. If you’re super into something, and you get your partner on board, but you can tell that they are not into it, it’s a horrible, lonely feeling.”
He remembered what she’d said about her husband. Ilias touched Josslyn’s jaw with two fingers, forcing her to look at him. Too late he realized he shouldn’t have touched her, but the way she leaned into his fingers told him that, even though they weren’t in a scene, she needed contact.
“My problem,” he whispered, “is that I am into it. I shouldn’t be, because it’s despicable, but I am.”
“It’s only despicable if there’s no consent.”
“It’s more than despicable, it’s a crime.”
“Half the things we do at this club are a crime in at least one state.”
He chuckled. “Fair enough. And if we do this, I would absolutely honor your safeword. That is always nonnegotiable.”
“And you have to promise that you won’t go into a self-hate spiral if I do use it.” Josslyn was studying him, a slight frown creating a line between her brows.
“We are going to very carefully plan that particular scene so there are no surprises.”
“But I like surprises.” She grinned.
Ilias shook his head. He fought the urge to hug her. Not to comfort her, because she didn’t need comfort. He wanted to hug her simply because… Because he enjoyed being close to her.
“I have an idea,” Josslyn said. “We should tell each other our rape fantasies.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, we give details. We could write it down, or save it as a voice memo, or something. We do that, exchange it, and then we each know what the other one’s definition of this particular item is.”
“That is an excellent idea.”
Josslyn dramatically brushed her hair back off her shoulder. “I know, I’m a genius.”
Ilias laughed and shook his head. He leaned down, picking up both their drinks from the floor where they’d placed them at some point during this conversation. He passed Josslyn hers.
She held up her glass. “To rape fantasy.”
“To the power exchange,” he countered.
Josslyn smiled. “To the power exchange.”
Ilias took a sip, watching Josslyn over the rim of his glass. There was something about her. Something that made him want to slow down. To spread out the rest of their items so that they’d have to scene together next weekend too. The rules for the game said they had a month to complete everything on their portion of the checklist.
Even with adding a rape fantasy scene to the schedule, they could get everything done this weekend.
And that was a shame.
Chapter 9
They’d just finished breakfast and now he wanted her to wear that?
Josslyn eyed the rubber garment, then glanced at Ilias from beneath her lashes.
He raised a brow, silently asking if she had a problem.
She quickly shook her head.
