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Liking when he was abrupt and dominant when we were alone, I immediately obeyed. His gaze raked over me once I was bare, lingering on my stomach before he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. He positioned me on the mattress just as he liked but then sat beside me, his fingers trailing over my stomach.
“I heard what you said to Roni, and I am struggling not to be angry, Andie,” he said, watching his hand instead of looking at me. “How many times must I prove myself to you?”
“Hold on. I wasn’t the one who said you were interested in Alison. That was Roni. I know you love me.”
As soon as I said it, I wanted to take the words back. Love wasn’t something we’d talked about…mostly because I feared that openly acknowledging how he felt about me would require me to reciprocate, and I wasn’t ready yet. I liked to take my time with the L-word. It wasn’t one I tossed around on a whim. My family heard it all the time. Especially Zion and Nova. I knew how important it was for a child to hear words of love. Beyond my family, though, I didn’t say it often. Okay, I didn’t say it at all.
Molev’s hand stilled on my stomach, just below my belly button.
“I do love you, Andie. That is why I am trying to be patient. But I am not talking about how I feel for you or Alison. Why do you still doubt that I will keep you safe?”
“I don’t doubt that,” I said, grabbing onto that topic like the lifeline it was. “I know you’ll do everything in your power to protect me.”
“Then why do you think I would not protect any child you might carry?”
It felt like a crater had opened up in the room, and I was falling in.
“Child?” I echoed while my mind raced.
His hand skimmed lower, feathering over my folds before a finger teased my opening.
“I can see you thinking, Andie. Save your guarded words and speak plainly. Why are you withholding yourself from me?”
“I’m not,” I said, trying not to focus on the sensation of his slow penetration.
But Molev was impossible to ignore. He knew exactly what I liked and reached up to stroke his thumb over my trachea as he cupped my neck.
“I do want everything, Andie. If you refuse to give me your heart, give me your body.” He stroked me twice then dipped his head to kiss my clit and flick it with his tongue. His thumb brushed a little harder against my skin, and I clenched around his finger.
“Each response tests my patience,” he said, kissing my inner thigh as he continued his slow assault. “What will you do when I run out?”
I couldn’t hide the quiver that ran through me or the way I clenched hard around him.
“I thought that might be the case,” he said almost sadly.
He added a second finger, working it in carefully.
“We walk a fine line, Andie. You like when I use force. I can feel and see how much you enjoy it. It goads me. It tells me to prepare you with my fingers until you drip with your need then ease myself inside you even as you beg me to wait. I want to fill you with my seed while you try to push me away.”
He exhaled heavily. “I want to dominate you in every way, Andie. But I fear that giving in to what you secretly want hands you the reason you need to reject me.” He nipped my thigh hard enough to cause me to jerk but not enough to leave a mark.
“You are like your leaders right now. Your words and your actions do not match. I will ask you again, why do you continue to deny me, Andie?”
He moved his fingers more forcefully inside of me, driving me closer to my first orgasm.
I knew I couldn’t chase the pleasure. If I did, I’d forget why I couldn’t tell him the truth. No matter how badly he thought he wanted it, I knew he wouldn’t accept it. People rarely did when I said I didn’t want to have kids.
My desire to never procreate had nothing to do with some preemptive maternal instinct to protect any baby we create from experiments. I hadn’t wanted kids before the earthquakes when the world was only shitty. I especially didn’t want them now.
But I knew Molev did. Badly. The way he’d been with Lucas today proved it. Molev was great with kids. If he had his way, he would probably have me barefoot and pregnant for the rest of my life, which was a terrifying thought for so many reasons.
“Do you know that some people wait until they were married to have sex?” I said breathlessly. “Why are a few weeks that big of a deal?”
He growled and brushed his thumb over my folds while he started curling his fingers inside of me.
“Then marry me, Andie.”
Those words were like a bucket of cold water splashed over me. All the good feelings he’d been evoking dried up.
