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ONE
There are many skills I hoped to master in my professional career. Scrubbing chamber pots was not one of them, and yet here we are. Oh, I don’tneedto scrub chamber pots anymore, in recognition of the fact that I’m not a nineteen-year-old Victorian housemaid but a thirty-year-old modern-day Canadian police detective. A detective who found herself, through some inexplicable whim of the universe, stuck—temporarily, I hope—in that maid’s body.
Having learned and accepted the truth, my employers have made it clear I don’t need to scrub chamber pots or scour coal grates or even polish silver. I still do, at least when I don’t have the excuse of being busy acting as an assistant to my undertaker/forensic-scientist boss, Dr. Duncan Gray. Believe me, I am much happier studying wound patterns. But I’m in the body of his maid, living in the house he shares with his older sister, and I’m damned well going to earn my keep. That means perfecting the art of scrubbing a toilet in a world that hasn’t discovered the wonders of latex gloves.
“Mallory!” Gray’s voice echoes as his boots clomp up the stairs.
Those boots had better be clean. We’ve had a talk aboutsomepeople walking in from the horseshit-laden streets and expecting other people to clean the floors behind them.
“Mallory! Where the devil are you?”
Before I can answer, Gray rounds the doorway and stops short to glowerat me. He’s really good at glowering, and will I seem like a swooning Victorian maiden if I admit he looks really good doing it?
Duncan Gray is a year older than me. With wavy dark hair, piercing dark eyes, and strong features, he’s about six feet tall, which puts him above most Victorian men, particularly the lower classes. Wide-shouldered with an athletic build, Gray is a far cry from the stereotypical undertaker. His brown skin also makes him, unfortunately, a far cry from most Victorians’ idea of a physician with multiple degrees, an upper-class Scottish accent, and a town house in Edinburgh’s New Town.
“I thought we agreed you did not need to do that,” he says, lowering his voice so the other staff won’t hear.
“It’s Alice’s half day. Who else is going to do it? You?”
To his credit, he pauses at that. Most Victorians would sputter at the idea, at least those wealthy enough to hire a servant, which in this world means anyone middle-class and above. This is what staff are for, and even when that staff person has a half day off, well, chamber pots aren’t going to clean themselves, are they? Doing it yourself is a twenty-first-century concept, and when I suggest it, I see the wheels turning in Gray’s mind.
“The next time Alice has her half day, I shall empty it when I rise in the morning,” he says. “I am not certain it needs to be scrubbed daily, but I can at least empty it myself.”
I push the pot back under his bed and rise. “Is there something you needed, Dr. Gray?”
He strides to the door and shuts it. I open my mouth to say that’s not a good idea. I don’t want Mrs. Wallace hearing the murmured voices of her boss and housemaid behind his closed bedroom door. Gray can be oblivious to such things. He intends nothing untoward, so surely no one would imagine anything untoward.
“Do you have any experience conducting police work in disguise?” he says.
“Pretending to be someone I’m not?” I wave my hands down my maid’s dress.
“Yes, but can you do itwell?”
“Hey!” I say, and there might be a squawk in my voice. “Youbought the act.”
“I am hardly the most perceptive audience.”
True. Gray was the only member of the household who didn’t question my performance. His maid suffered a head injury that transformed a scheming thief into an industrious young woman with a keen interest in his studies? Huh. Well, the brain is a mysterious thing, and since he was in need of an assistant, he saw no problem with Catriona’s transformation.
“You want a Victorian housemaid?” I change my tone to a sweet voice and lower my gaze as I curtsy. “Please, sir, might I know what you had in mind for this police work? I do not think I can help, being only a simple girl, but pray permit me the opportunity to distinguish myself.”
I straighten. “Better?”
“If you are playing a maid in a theater melodrama.”
I roll my eyes. “Fine. What sort of undercover work are we talking?”
“You’d be visiting a public house with Hugh. It is in the Old Town, and not in one of its best districts. Hugh would be a workingman, and you would be his…” He clears his throat. “Companion for the evening.”
“His doxy? Please tell me I get to play a doxy?” I hike up the hem of my skirt. “Why, hello, good gentleman. Note that I am exposing a very fine pair of ankles, which can be yours for the small price of a few shillings. Pox included at no additional charge.”
Gray shakes his head.
“I’m joking,” I say. “With Isla gone, I’m bored and a little giddy.”
And it’s been weeks since you had any non-maid work for me.
A month ago, Gray learned the truth about me… and discovered that I’d told his sister Isla first. I’d withheld it from him even after he tentatively cracked open the door for me as an investigative partner. I might have had good reason, but he still felt the sting of it.
