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That’s why I’m experimenting, isn’t it? To find my limits.
To figure out exactly how far I can go with my abilities before I doom myself… and anyone I’ve worked them on.
I take a few slow breaths to steady my nerves and think back through the many memories I’ve viewed in people’s heads over the years to the avid surfer who chased thrills around the world. His vivid recollections of riding the waves, water roaring beneath him and wind flicking cool spray across his face, were exhilarating, but my favorite moment was a snippet of a conversation I came across.
Don’t you ever get scared?one of his friends asked him, and he simply laughed.
As long as I’ve got my board under my feet or my hand, I know I’m okay, he said.I’ll get through it.
I’m still here. I’ve got the floor beneath me and the walls around me, all perfectly tangible. While I have that, I should be able to pull out of my invisibility and be all right, even if it’s hard.
I don’t actually know if that’s true, but focusing on the thought settles my nerves. I walk on out of the house.
It’s harder to stay completely unnoticeable in the outdoors. My body hasn’t lost its gravity; my feet press indents into the grass and the gritty soil.
No one’s close enough to see those signs of my passing right now, but in a real mission, it could be a problem.
The best solution that offers itself is to stick to solid materials. I leap across some decorative tiles set in one span of the lawn and teeter along the edge of a broad wooden planter filled with drooping flowers.
The minor acrobatics take my mind off my worries until another prickling ripple washes over my skin.
This one wriggles up from my feet as well as along my arms, converging on my chest. My balance wobbles, and I stumble off the planter.
The soft thud of my feet on the grass brings other footsteps from around the side of the house. Toni comes into view and frowns at the apparently vacant garden before her. “Is someone there?”
The prickles are racing right between my ribs now, making my breath catch. Fear spikes alongside the physical distress.
Is my balance still wobbling—my sense of the ground itself wavering?
I jerk myself back toward visibility with a shove of my power. My body reforms, the sunlight glancing off my face and bringing out the vibrant red of my shirt.
And then I seem to dissolve. For a second, the breeze passes right through my chest.
My hands clutch at the air as if I’ll find something to hold on to there. My thoughts whirl. When I glance down at myself, my arms look hazy, the grass showing through them.
My feet. Where are my feet? I can’t even feel them—it’s like my legs end at my knees, and—
“Hey!”
A hand closes around my shoulder. Firm, present, bringing my physical presence back into sharper focus.
My head snaps up. Toni is standing next to me, her eyes wide and her hair windblown as if she ran over.
I’m here. I’m still here.
An eerie tingling sensation keeps jittering through my nerves, like my entire body has fallen asleep and is now writhing with pins and needles. Clenching my jaw, I pull and pull at my sense of myself, dragging every bit of me back into full reality.
By the time I’m totally confident that I’m solid again, sweat is trickling down my back despite the cool winter air. My breath rasps in my throat.
“Fuck,” I mutter, hopelessness knotting my gut. The two-hour alert hadn’t even gone off yet.
I’m not going to be able to give the others much more of an advantage—not without risking their entire existence.
The hand drops from my shoulder, and I’m abruptly aware of Toni still standing there next to me. “Are you all right?”
I manage to aim a tight smile at her. “Yeah. Now. Sorry if I startled you—and thank you.”
Toni blinks at me as if she’s still having trouble seeing me. “What happened there?”
