Page 29 of Fearsome Dream


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I shrug. “What’s always happened if I try to hold on to the invisibility for too long. I wasn’t sure… I haven’t let myself give it my all since the procedures and everything.”

Toni gives me a grimace that feels almost like a disapproving teacher, as much as I have any idea what that feels like. “Youshouldn’ttake it that far. It doesn’t help anyone if you can’t come back. Are you totally okay now? Should I get Rollick or your friends or—?”

I wave off her concerned questions. “It’s over. I’m good now.” Other than the sense of failure and the pit of existential dread that’s reappeared in the bottom of my stomach.

My smile loosens and turns crooked at the same time. “I’m just trying to figure out how Icanhelp as much as possible. I’m not much good for forcing open locks or cutting down super villains.”

Something shifts in Toni’s expression. Her mouth tenses, almost as if she’s upset, but her voice comes out softer. “I know a little something about being most valued when you’re unseen. But I also know you can erase yourself too much and regret it.”

A lump rises in my throat. I hadn’t expected to find myself sympathizing with Balthazar’s star employee, but there’s no denying how much she means those words.

I don’t think I’d ever want to take another peek inside her head to find out how much she forced herself to tolerate over the years.

Toni eases back a step as if she suspects I’d prefer more space. Then her head cocks. “The invisibility isn’t your only power. Your main focus is memory, isn’t it?”

I swipe my hand over my face as if to reassure myself that all of my features are still there. “Yeah. But it isn’t much help in tackling psychopaths. I can distract people by projecting memories, but that doesn’t get us very far.”

“And you can erase memories as well.” Toni’s gaze turns pensive. “If you could do that to Balthazar—simply wipe out all the experiences that made him want to carry out his crusade against the shadowkind—”

I let out a shaky chuckle. “I wish it could be that easy. I’d have to be near him to wipe his mind, and completely blanking a person takes some time. If we want to be sure of stopping him, we’re better off getting any of the other shadowbloods in there—except Griffin, I guess. Riva, Jacob, Zian, and maybe even Dom could end him in a second or two.”

I say the words without thinking and then pause, remembering that even if she’s thrown her lot in with us, this woman was dedicated for more than a decade to the man I’m talking so casually about killing.

“Unless you’re hoping we can end this without him dead,” I add. “I didn’t mean—after everything he put us through and everything he’s doing now, that’s where my mind automatically goes.”

Toni nods without an indication of offense taken. “I can understand that. With everything I’ve seen, I can’t say you’re wrong to think that way either. Consider my suggestion just some brainstorming. With all his plans and resources, who knows what tricks we might need to turn to if we’re going to stop him?”

I laugh with a little actual humor this time. “Fair point. If it comes down to me and I get the chance, I’ll definitely give him a case of amnesia. That just doesn’t seem like a great opening gambit.”

We drift back toward the house, silence falling between us. There isn’t a whole lot to say to each other after that.

Or possibly there is, because a few steps from the door, Toni glances over at me. “I’m sorry. For—for every way I contributed to what he did to you. I shouldn’t have let myself become just a tool for him, putting aside all my own opinions.”

The apology means more than I’d have expected after she’s already said as much to us as a group. I dip my head to her in acknowledgment. “He did a number on you too. At least you found your way back.”

The corner of her mouth curves upward in a sad-looking smile. “Do your best to make sure you always do too, all right?”

I don’t answer her, even though I’m touched by her concern. Because the truth is, as terrified as my experience in the garden makes me, I wouldn’t let that terror get in my way.

I’d never risk another person’s life with my talent, but if keeping myself concealed for a few more minutes made the difference between saving my friends and the woman I love or not? I’d accept my doom in an instant.

I can’t even say whether I’m more worried that it’ll come to that… or that I’ll never get the chance to make that much of a difference.

Eleven

Riva

Isit up straighter and roll my shoulders. The lines of the map that’s spread on the floor in front of me swim before my eyes even when I close them.

I rub at my eyelids and blink, and the afterimage starts to fade. My uneasiness doesn’t.

Balthazar hasn’t returned to his base in the Carpathians, which isn’t really a surprise. He doesn’t know how much we figured out about his security systems there, but he’s not taking any chances.

Instead, every time I check his location, he seems to be moving between places. I’m not sure he’s stayed at any of his properties for more than an hour or two.

He must be conducting most of his business by private jets and helicopters. Placing calls, making plans, even sleeping while in motion.

Which means we can’t pin him down. I never know where he is for long enough that we could get there before he’s someplace else.

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