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Whit began to back towards the door. “Anything,” he whispered again, the door swinging shut.
Nell plopped down in the chair across from me, handing me a mug and some bread as she tore into her own. “You can have him killed, you know,” she shrugged. “I wouldn’t argue too much.” I laughed and grabbed the clothes, tucking myself into a corner to peel off the gown. “Sorry about him,” she laughed. “Great guy. Shameless flirt, though.”
“I can tell,” I answered, carefully pulling the crimson candle from its strap inside the gown and placing it on the table next to the diadem.
Nell let out a breath, eyes moving between the diadem and the candle as I pulled on a pair of loose brown trousers and a fitted black tunic. Whit had even brought me a pair of brown leather boots. “I heard about the little candle plan,” she muttered.
“Yeah, we didn’t really make it far enough to use it.” She continued eyeing it as I sat across from her once again. “Good plan, though,” I added. Nell offered a lopsided smile as she looked at me. “How did you find yourself as a Cabillian soldier?”
She popped a piece of bread into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully before washing it down with ale. “Fever took my mother when I was young. I don’t even remember her. My brother did, though. He was two years older. We were never very close, and my father drank. A lot. And he’d get angry.” I felt the energy in the room sour a bit as she rehashed her past. “I think that’s why I’m a good fighter. I was always at the other end of his fists.”
I cringed, but her face remained neutral as she spoke. “Got pretty sick of it and knew I wanted to leave Maplenook. But it wasn’t like I could beg. Everyone in Maplenook was poor. The one brothel in town hadsomeform of morals and wouldn’t hire anyone under sixteen. And Maplenook was so damned far fromeverything.”
“And Wrena?” I asked.
“Her father was my uncle, my mother’s brother. I liked to spend time with her family. They were always kind, always laughing. But our fathers didn’t get along, so our time together was always too short.
“I was fifteen when a textile merchant from Taitha came to town. I took it as my sign to leave. We rarely had merchants.” I remembered Wrena telling me the same thing. “I begged Wrena to come with me, told her she needed to get out of Maplenook, that she was destined for bigger things. But she wanted to stay. She loved it there.” Nell’s expression briefly went distant and she absentmindedly chewed a piece of bread. “Anyway,” she started again, righting herself and taking another swig of ale. “I bribed the textile merchant to take me with him when he went back to Taitha.”
I didn’t want to ask what she meant by that. She must have seen the question on my face though, because she put her bread down, a wicked smile curving across her face. “Yes, Ibribedhim. He wasn’t half bad looking, so don’t feel too bad for me. Didn’t enjoy it much, though.”
The cadence of her voice, the crudeness of her words reminded me so much of Larka, but this time the dark memories swept in. I swallowed back the thought, afraid that if I followed it I would end up spiraling into a dark pit I couldn’t dig myself out of. “The merchant found me a job with a seamstress. She had a busy shop and I was responsible for keeping it clean, and in return I made a bit of coin and could sleep in the back. It wasn’t much fun, but it kept me housed and fed. Whit came in one day, not too long after I’d moved here, to pick up a gown for his mother. Prissy bitch,” she muttered. My eyes widened and she waved a hand at me. “Don’t worry, he thinks the same thing. She’s the living worst. The reason he joined the military was to get the hell away from her.”
I laughed — actuallylaughed.In the middle of all the bloodshed and terror and uncertainty, I was laughing. It felt wrong. But it felt so, so good.
“He tried to make his move on me. Just like he does with every woman he lays eyes on. Didn’t work, but we’ve been best friends ever since.”
“What, you mean you didn’t fall for his charming words?” I jeered.
Nell snorted. “He tried, believe me. And his wordswerecharming. But evenWhit with the Big Dickcouldn’t keep me from preferring women.”
A laugh burst from my mouth. “Okay, makes sense. But have you…”
“Yeah, I’ve seen it.” She grinned.
“And?” I mirrored her mischievous smile.
“I’ll just say it’s a good thing he’s funny.”
“Cheers to that,” I chuckled, clanking our mugs together.
She took another long sip, her face turning contemplative. “I usually stay out here at the Outpost. I don’t have a place in the barracks back in the city. Only went back because of all the commotion about the arrival of the Daughter of Katia.” I hid my face, but she gave a smile. “And you? What’s your story?”
“You want to knowmystory?”
“You’re the daughter of a fuckin’ Saint and can apparently shoot fire from your hands. Yes, I’d like to know your story.”
Saints, Nell was refreshing. A normal person talking to me like I, too, was a normal person. So I took a deep breath and told her. About Inkwell, the soothsayer, Larka, and watching her die. About my father’s murder and his cloak and the fire that took what little we had after that. About Solise and my mother and Castemont, the fucking bastard, and how I’d kill him with my bare hands if I had to. Wrena and Marita, the images of their bodies hanging outside the Eserenian throne room still fresh in my mind. Initiation and being kidnapped by Kauvras’ men and the healing and Miles and the beasts of the Onyx Pass. Solise — dear, dear Solise. I told her of my explosion. The note. The wedding. And nowthis.
And I told her about Calomyr. What I learned yesterday, that he was the fuckingKing of Widoras.That he was in on it the whole time. That I was still in love with Calomyr, a man who didn’t exist because he was really King Belin Cal Myrin. That his father was Kauvras. That I hadn’t even really had the time to react properly.
I told her that I washollow.
And Nell listened. Like her cousin Wrena had. She listened.
She blew a heavy breath from her mouth. “Well, shit.” Her ale was long gone, and I pushed my mug her way when I saw her eyeing it.
“And I have no idea what’s going to happen next,” I breathed.
