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“There was an inlet that couldn’t be seen from the top of the cliffs, I think. It’s all a bit fuzzy.”
“And you ended up in Taitha?”
He nodded, then rolled his head between his shoulders and took a deep breath. “One of the men brought me to Taitha, yes. He told me my name, put me in an orphanage, and told me my parents died in a fire. For a long time I thought that was the truth. I didn’t have memories of it, but I didn’t have memories of anything else, either. I figured I’d inhaled too much smoke or hit my head and that’s why I couldn’t remember anything.”
“Saints,” I whispered, my eyes shifting between the brothers and their striking similarities.
“I started to remember bits and pieces,” he continued. “Just little things, like a random memory of our street in Eserene or the pastry shop we’d visit as kids. I heard there was a newly crowned king in Widoras, King Belin Cal Myrin. The name was familiar, but I didn’t know why. And then one day I remembered her, our mother.” His eyes were focused somewhere far off, the sorrowful ghost of a smile flashing across his lips before falling away. “And I remembered how she died. It hadn’t been a fire at all. Someone had murdered her in front of us.” His words were clipped, each syllable painful to hear. “Right?”
Something about the way he asked for confirmation tore a piece from my soul, as if some tiny part of him held onto hope that it wasn’t true. That hope, that miniscule crumb that still remained was quickly brushed away.
Belin’s brows turned up as he quickly looked away. “That’s right.”
Miles let a breath loose, nodding slightly, his eyes closing against his brother’s words. “When is my birthday?” The question seemingly came out of nowhere, but there was pain in his tone.
Belin’s eyes narrowed for a split second. “Two weeks before the first full moon of spring. You…forgot that, too?”
Miles nodded, unable to meet his brother’s eyes.
“I should have looked harder for you,” Belin whispered, and a part of my heart that had scarred over split again. In that moment, Belin hadn’t hurt me, he hadn’t lied to me, but rather he was the victim,hewas the one I felt pain for. I sat with that feeling, didn’t try to push it away like I knew I should have.
Miles shook his head. “You couldn’t have known. Shit, I didn’t even know.” He winced in pain as he shifted and let out a long sigh. “I joined Kauvras’ army as soon as I was old enough. That’s what boys did when they got too old for the orphanage. And I just…went on with my life, sure that there were things I was forgetting but knowing I’d probably never get my answers. I’d considered seeing a Bloodsinger, seeing what they could tell me. In fact, that was the plan when I got back from Eserene.”
“You didn’t, did you?” Belin asked, concern evident in his words.
“No, I didn’t. I didn’t have a chance before I met Oh Holy One over here,” he jeered, gesturing to me with a smile that was heartbreakingly Calomyr. “Figured since Kauvras couldtalk to the Saints,he might be able to tell me something without a blood sacrifice.”
“And did he?” Belin asked.
“Fuck no,” he laughed. “He’s beyond mad. But the second I was brought before him and saw him up close, saw the color of his eyes… I remembered. I remembered you. Then I saw you in the throne room when you were dragged before Petra and I knew for certain.”
Belin took a deep breath, his jaw working. “Does he know?”
“No. The mask stayed on. Like I’d intended it to,” he answered. “I wasn’t planning on telling you for a while, if at all. There was too much to figure out.”
The sorrow on Belin’s face quickly morphed into something like fear. “And Castemont? Does he know?”
Miles pursed his lips. “No, but…Castemont…” he murmured, trailing off as if he were testing the name on his tongue. He took a few deep breaths, trying to find the words. “Is he… He was around, wasn’t he? He was the one who gave us the wooden swords?”
Belin was silent as he looked at his brother. His eyes flashed to me for a split second, the weight of his stare leaving me breathless. “Yes.”
“And he’s the one behind all of this.” It should have been a question but it wasn’t. It was a statement, heavy-laden with sorrow.
Belin nodded, his brows pinched and jaw tense.
Miles returned the nod, his obsidian eyes falling distant again as we sat in the stillness of the forest, a tense silence befalling us.
“You knew who she was?” Miles breathed suddenly, his head tilted toward me. “You knew she was the Daughter of Katia?”
I felt my heartbeat speed up. I wasn’t ready to talk about this.
Belin’s head dropped low, shame radiating off of him so heavily I swore I could reach out and touch it. “I did.”
“Why did you…” Miles’ voice had grown sharper, the air between them growing heated. “How could you knowingly lie to her?”
I bit my lip, nervous at the answer that was coming. “Miles, it’s–”
“No,” he cut in. “Let him answer.”
