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The jet is not too big. I didn’t particularly want one, but it’s an absolute necessity when I have to travel a lot, and especially when I take Daniel with me.
As advised, the flight attendant greets us without saying my surname—Reeds is a giveaway of my identity—and we find our seats. The guilt starts creeping up on me again, but at least this time I didn’t have to use my old surname. Every time someone used it these past few days, I feel like a fraud. But at the same time, no matter how deceitful it is, it also reminds me of who I was when we were together.
Carol asks for coffee and something to eat, now too tense to enjoy the upcoming flight. I tell the attendant to make the same for me and then return my attention to Carol, grateful for the private time with her. “We’ll be there in about two hours so, is there something else I should know before we land?”
The revelation about Morgan wasn’t a complete shock—I knew she had an ex with that name. What I didn’t know was that he was at least part of the reason she wanted a date for the wedding. Dennis failed to mention it when he first suggested I take Carol to the wedding.
She purses her lips and thinks about it for a bit. “We just need to keep our stories straight about the breakup and how we got back together. That’s all. If they ask about your life or work—” She hesitates, realizing that she doesn’t know much about the latter either. “Avoid any details,” she says at last.
“What have you told them so far? Did you mention that you were bringing me?”
She shakes her head. “I thought it would be a pleasant surprise for everyone.”
“Or…” I begin and she glares, knowing what I’ll say. “You were not sure you’d go there with me. Even today.”
Her mouth edges up in a half smile. “Maybe.”
Noted. I need to try harder.
She stares at the cabin in an effort to end the conversation but at least she seems pleased with what she sees.
The jet is as minimal as it gets, including the interior. The floor is dark gray, but the walls are all white, making it seem bigger than it actually is. There are four large, rotating seats on the side we are sitting and a large, gray couch, a few shades lighter than the floor, on the other. That’s where Daniel usually sits when we travel. Even from this distance, I can spot splashes of color from his markers.
“Do you like it?” I ask. This could easily be her life. Carol would live in absolute comfort, having all her needs and wants met. I don’t care how ironic this sounds— I want to offer her everything that I’ve accused other women of expecting from me.
“It’s impressive,” she admits. “But it kind of worries me. Did he rent this? Or does he own it? Are you sure this isn’t related to the discrepancies at the company?”
More guilt engulfs me. I’m making her work and worry about this.
“This was a personal expense. It’s not paid for by the company,” I insist. And at least that is true.
My hand reaches out for hers. “Don’t worry about this part of the deal, okay? It’s just a job, one that shouldn’t be on your mind now. We are doing this so that you can enjoy yourself,” I remind her.
“Sure.” She snorts but doesn’t pull away. Instead, she laces her fingers with mine.
Unless—unless this is painful for her. Maybe she doesn’t just want to show up with someone to annoy her ex. Maybe she wants him to be jealous.
“Do you still have feelings for him?” I blurt out as my feelings of guilt and worry are quickly replaced with jealousy.
They broke up about six months ago, that’s not too long. If Carol dancing with strangers was enough to work me up, I don’t know what I’ll do if I see her flirt with her ex.
She slowly turns to look at me, her eyes blazing with… something. Once more, I can’t read her expression, but I know my feelings are as clear as the sky around us.
Carol bites her lower lip and shakes her head causing my fingers to tighten their grip. This is not a good enough answer. I don’t want her feeling things about anyone else, especially not love.
But she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she sighs, lost in her thoughts, and all I want to do is push them all away, erase everything that has come between us, starting with the way we broke up before.
Her fingers slip from mine, and she reaches for her bag, pulling a book and resting it on her lap. The title doesn’t ring any bells but judging by the cover design, it’s a cozy mystery. She used to love those.
Carol glances at me once more and then slightly shifts in her seat, so that she’s turned toward the window, and starts reading.
I take a deep breath and decide to give her time to relax around me. I switch on the TV to keep myself busy and put one of my earplugs on. There’s an unlimited selection of movies to choose from, but I opt for a nature documentary. It’s not like I can focus on anything other than Carol right now.
She is stiff next to me but as the minutes pass, I hear her laugh or snort at what she’s reading, and I know she’s not in a foul mood anymore.
After several attempts to start a conversation with her pointedly ignoring me, I decide to take the seat across from her. She looks grateful for the distance at first but having to look at each other for hours is not as easy as it sounds.
“So…” I take a long pause, my eyes fixed on hers. “What’s the story? How did we get back together?” The teasing tone is hard to miss.
