AllFreeNovel
Share Us
As much as I want to jump in with both feet, I need to tread lightly. I blew my last chance with Carrie Babson and it cost me nearly thirteen years of my life. I’m not willing to do the same thing twice. Whatever this thing between her and me is, I’ll have to use the same patience and delicacy as I would building a house of cards.
Begrudgingly, I pull my hand from her grasp and tiptoe out of the tent to change in the nearby bathrooms. When I no longer look or smell like a wild animal, I get to work building a campfire and boiling water. Babs pokes her head out of the tent with a bundle of clothes under her arm several minutes later.
“Where’s the bathroom?” she asks in a low voice.
I give her directions, then get to work making a mug of cider to sip on. Livvie’s still asleep and I have my feet propped up on one of the logs as I stare out over the lake remembering the first time I saw Babs. Her footsteps break my concentration.
She’s dressed in a pair of jeans and a white tank top under a blue flannel shirt. Her dark hair is pulled into two braids that hang on each side of her neck.Babs smiles when I look over at her, and I match her grin.
My gut flip-flops at her reaction.
I’ve spent most of this morning worrying she’d regret last night’s kiss. Now that I see her reaction, every muscle in my body relaxes.
While she drops her stuff in the tent, I prepare a mug of hot cider for her and offer her the cup when she returns.
“Thank you,” she says, taking the mug and wrapping her slender fingers around its base. She sits next to me on the log overlooking the lake. Our legs are fused together, from the knees to our hips, and the warmth of her body melts my insides like last night’s marshmallow. I lean into her touch and wrap an arm around her shoulder. Somehow it feels as natural as if we’ve been doing this our entire lives.
She drops her head onto my shoulder and I kiss her hair. How does she smell like flowers when she’s been sitting in smoke for the last twenty-four hours?
We sit in comfortable silence, sipping our cider, watching the sun reflect off the water, and listening to the world slowly wake up around us.
I take her hand again, threading my fingers into hers. Now that I know she’ll let me, I fully plan to hold her every chance I get.
Smoke wafts through our campsite from the neighbors as they make breakfast. Clanking from another campsite fills the air as they fold up their chairs and drive away, bound for some unknown destination. Heat slowly infuses the air as the sun turns the atmosphere from a hazy gray to brilliant greens and browns.
I occasionally glance at the tent, wondering when Livvie will stir. I’m also thankful I get time alone with Babs.
Time. I have so little of it before Babs leaves for Seattle again. Will she drive away and not come back? Have I done enough–said enough to make her want to see me again?
I stare into my mug, hoping it will give me the answer. It doesn’t.
Heat seems to radiate from the rocks and the earth. It won’t be long before Livvie gets too hot to stay asleep and my alone time with Babs will be gone.
So I take a deep breath and ask, “Would you be all right with me calling you, or visiting you after you return to Seattle?”
Babs stiffens.
I immediately regret the question. I’ve gone too far too fast. I should’ve let her lead the way. Crap. Why couldn’t I just enjoy the moment?
I drop the arm draped around her shoulder and straighten. “If you don’t want me to come, I understand.”
“No! It’s not that.” She turns to me, her eyes wide and frantic. Her shoulders droop and she stares at the dirt in front of us. “I would love for you to come. It’s just that I’m afraid…” One of her hands reaches up and fiddles with her braid. “It would be hard to explain why I leave town to bury my dad and come home with a boyfriend. I'm still living with Hilloria, and I need to go home and pack. If she saw you she'd attack like a vulture, plus I still need to meet with an attorney, and…”
Carrie closes her eyes and rubs the center of her forehead with the tips of her fingers. “It’s too soon. Give me time.”
She’s right. Of course, she’s right. About all of it.
It still cuts deep.
I don’t know what I expected her to do or say. Anything but this would’ve been impulsive and irrational on her part. I quit being impulsive and irrational the second I knew about Livvie's existence. My daughter can’t afford to have two flaky, unreliable parents who make decisions without considering the impact on others.So, why would I expect Babs to be that way?
Nodding, I stand, turning my back to Babs so she doesn’t see the hurt on my face. She doesn’t deserve to see it. She’s right and I’m being selfish.
I take my cup to the spigot and rinse it out. As I’m pulling out the fixings for breakfast, I feel the softness of Babs pressed up against my back. She wraps her arms around my waist from behind and presses her cheek against my back, near my shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs into my ear.
I still at the contact, soaking in the heat against my back from her body. Letting waves of electric energy roll over me. I want to turn, pull her into a kiss that will leave her in ashes. Let her see exactly how I feel about her.
I grit my teeth. It takes superhuman willpower to stay rooted in my spot. “It’s fine,” I say. “You’re right. It is too soon.”
