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His eyes skip all over my face, finally locking with mine. “Is that what you want? For us to quit trying?”
I try to pull my hands free, but his fingers clamp harder to mine. He dips his head and raises both brows. “Is it?”
I shake my head, fighting away tears. I try to look away again, but he snatches my chin between his thumb and finger. “Don’t look away. Look me in the eye and tell me what you want. Not what your father wants. Not what Livvie wants. Not what your stepmother wants. What doyouwant?”
My lips tremble, and fear grips my chest, making it hard to breathe. The terror of telling him I love him out loud–to his face–it’s nearly crippling.
I reach up and pull his hand from my chin. “Why didn’t you answer the phone when I called you?”
This time it’s his turn to look away and say nothing.
With my heart thundering about a million times per second, and my hand trembling in his, I say, “I’m scared.”
Ryan’s gaze jerks to mine with an intensity that catches my breath. “So am I. Terrified.”
I nod. “What if it doesn’t work? What if we don’t mesh? What if–”
He traps my lips with his fingers and shakes his head. “What if it does? What if you’re everything I always knew I wanted? What if we should’ve been together all this time and we missed it because we were too afraid?”
He drops his hand, and grasps my free one with his again, drawing closer. “I have wanted you from the moment we met at that lake. Pride kept me from doing anything about it. And fear. If I walk out again tonight, there’s no guarantee I’ll ever see you again. I don’t think I can live with myself if I don’t at least give us a try. Can you?”
“I’m not the same girl I was in high school,” I whisper.
“I’m not the same guy.” He presses my hand to his chest. “But my heart is still the same. My core values are still the same. How I feel about you hasn’t changed. If anything, I’ve grown up, decided what I want and who I want.That who isyou.”
My fight-or-flight instincts kick in hard. How many years have I wanted to hear him say that? How many girlish fantasies did I have where he whisked me into his arms and kissed me breathless? Now that those words are coming out of his mouth, I want to run rather than jump into his arms. The fear of everything going wrong–of ruining the one fantasy I’ve been holding onto for the last several years–is almost too much.
I bolt to my feet, tugging out of his grasp. Then I turn, looking for an escape.
“Babs,” he says, grabbing my shoulders and whirling me around. Our faces are inches apart. His lips are so close I can practically taste them. He lifts a hand and runs his fingers down the side of my cheek. “I didn’t call you because I saw your house. I learned how much you were selling it for, and I realized you have more money than I do.” He looks away. “A lot more. It made me insecure, and angry that you’d kept it from me. I wondered what else I didn’t know. I couldn't comprehend why you’d want to be with a guy like me when money gives you access to an entirely different level of guys. What do I have to offer you?”
My stomach plummets. That's what he fears? That's why he's holding back? Shaking my head, I do the only thing I can to express how I feel about him.
I grab his shirt, bunching it in my fist, then pull him to me and kiss him.
Chapter 35
Breathless Vows
Ryan
Babspullsmetoher with such force, I’m momentarily stunned when her lips meet mine. It ignites something inside me that’s been standing in a corner waiting to be set free.
All the other kisses before this one? Nothing. They were foreplay for this.
I’d worried she was going to bolt. She’d said nothing aside from, “I’m scared.”
But this kiss–oh man,this kiss!
I drop my hands from her shoulder and slide them down her ribcage to grip her waist. I revel in the warmth of her mouth, the way she smells of flowers, and tastes of chocolate.
Babs wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me closer and running her hands through my hair, along my skull, massaging my scalp until I’m practically purring. Her lips meld with mine, then our tongues meet, ratcheting things up another level.
I don’t know how long we stand there, mouths melding with one another. But when we separate, my lips are raw, and my hands are tangled in her hair. Carrie is breathless and so am I.
When our gazes meet, I vow to myself that I will do everything I can to make her breathless again.Verysoon. And every day after that.
Chapter 36
