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His car was blocked in, and he wanted to put his fist through the wall.
When a hand dropped on his arm, he jumped, which was new. He’d never been that on edge before in his entire life. His head whipped to the side to see Bodhi hunkering down near him with one hand pressed to the wall, the other pinching his index finger to this thumb.
Do-do?
Caleb dragged a hand down his face and hoped his sigh was mostly silent. “I’m trying to get us out of here. I thought we might sneak into Bubbles and get some tea.”
Bodhi’s eyes went wide. “With me?”
Caleb felt a mixture of impatient, irritated, and once again guilty for making his relationship with Bodhi so damn hostile. “Yeah. My apology for being a dick.”
Bodhi’s lip twitched up, but he was very clearly hesitating. “Do you think that’s a good idea? They really need help inside.”
Caleb considered that for a second, but Bodhi still looked on the verge of running away for good. “They’ll survive for another hour. No one’s going to see that line and expect fast service. And if people start bitching on Yelp, I'm going to eviscerate them,” Caleb answered flippantly, his wrists loose.
Bodhi’s lips moved into a full grin even though Caleb was certain he hadn’t understood everything. “Okay.”
Caleb offered a stiff nod, then dipped his head down, shoved his hands into his pockets, then took up a brisk walk until they reached the next building where he could only just see the crowd lining up in front of BrewBiz. The tea shop was like a ghost town, and he felt a little bad about it, but it wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t the one who posted his business all over TikTok or whatever the fuck it was the kids were using.
He held the door open for Bodhi, then hesitated. He never actually ordered from Bubbles himself. When they were sick to death of coffee—which was pretty much daily—he’d send Wren for a tea run. He felt a small wave of reluctance because he didn’t want to draw attention to himself again.
Then he remembered Bodhi was voice-on. It went against his very nature to ask someone to order for him, but all he could think about was how quickly the sight of him and Cameron had spread across the god-forsaken internet, and he wasn’t about to have people making inspiration porn videos to sad nineties songs about his milk tea.
“Can you grab me a large oolong with extra ice and light boba?” He spelled his order as clearly as he could before pulling out his wallet and slapping his credit card against Bodhi’s chest. “Bathroom.”
He was gone before Bodhi could give his answer, and Caleb just added that to the list of things he needed to apologize for. He grabbed the handle and stepped in, letting out a huge breath of relief when he realized it was a single stall. He turned the lock hard, feeling for the click, then walked to the sink and braced his hands on the edge before bowing his head and fighting back a scream.
That used to be a stress-release for him. He’d been shushed so much as a kid when he was making noise without realizing it. The idea of hearing was such a foreign concept to him, and he remembered being mortified when he found out that strangers across the room knew whenever he’d soothe himself with the soft buzzing in the back of his throat.
And screaming had been so fucking cathartic when his frustration levels were at their worst. It would tear at his lungs and rush past his teeth and rumble along the insides of his cheeks. It would steal all the air out of his chest until he was light-headed, and then he could breathe again. But apparently it was loud. And apparently it scared people, so he wasn’t allowed to do it.
After that, he devoted all his extra time into trying to figure out what made sounds and what didn’t so he didn’t bother everyone else around him. In the end, he just wanted to live under a pile of blankets and stay there because no one ever wagged their finger in his face and sent him to stand in the corner when he was by himself.
Deaf school made it all better—mostly, apart from a few shitty teachers. But it was live-in and his roommate was as profoundly deaf as he was, and the only way one of them knew the other was crop dusting the room was when the smell fogged them out. And no one was embarrassed. They’d just laugh hysterically and open the window, and sometimes trick the guys from across the hall into coming over and holding the door shut so they were stuck with it.
He didn’t know boys like Bodhi there because no one was ever made to feel self-conscious about their own language.
Turning on the water, he quickly washed his face, remembering that he’d left his employee out there, and he dried his hands before making his way out. For a second, he couldn’t see Bodhi anywhere, but then a waving hand caught his attention. It was around the back side of the condiment bar, and Bodhi was tucked in a little corner booth that had absolutely no view of anything except the wall that probably encased the kitchen.
“Nice spot,” he said as he sat.
Bodhi just shrugged with a sheepish grin as he pushed one of the teas toward Caleb. “I asked them at the counter where we could sit and not be seen by anyone. They were nice. They know some signs from your brother.”
He pictured Bodhi and Wren as a couple, and Caleb felt a little surge of resentment, which was odd and unexpected. They’d look good, and he fucking hated the thought which was…odd. There was absolutely no reason for him to think that.
He glanced back at Bodhi, whose fingers were twitching, and once again he didn’t know if it was just a habit or if he was trying to think of what he wanted to say.
“Okay?” he finally asked, then pointed to Bodhi’s hands.
Bodhi stared down, looking horrified before tucking his arms below the table. He realized his mistake a second later and lifted them again. “Sorry. Um. It’s stimming.” He spelled it out slowly. “I can usually stop myself, but it’s been a stressful day.”
“It doesn’t bother me,” Caleb told him quickly. “I’m sorry I got upset earlier. It wasn’t about you.”
Bodhi shook his head so hard, a lock of dark hair fell over his left eye, and he brushed it away with an impatient hand. Caleb’s cheeks felt strangely warm. “I know some of it was my fault. I have a hard time switching from English to ASL brain after being on campus all day.”
Caleb’s brows furrowed. “Don’t you have an interpreter?”
At the way Bodhi’s cheeks darkened, Caleb knew the answer. “No, I…my brother has one. And I know I need to. It’s…complicated.”
