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Cameron laughed. “If you want to. I always liked seeing you on your knees. But if you want honesty, it won’t help. I’m already packed, and by the time you get home, most of my stuff will be gone.”
God, how long had he been planning this?
“So you and him are athingnow.”
“Please, C. YouknowI’ve been half out of this relationship for a while now.” When Caleb looked into his face, he saw that Cameron’s pupils had dilated and his lips were twisted into a smirk. He was enjoying this so much. “I’ve been sleeping around on you since we met. Javi isn’t the first. I know you’re notthatstupid.”
He stumbled back a few steps like he’d been hit, the space near the left side of his ribs hurting like he was having a goddamn heart attack. Fuck, he couldn’tbreathe. His fingers shook harder with his reply. “Why the hell do you think I’d know that you were sleeping around? Do you think we’d be having this conversation right now if I knew you were cheating the whole time?”
Cameron rolled his eyes. “You were always so dramatic.”
There was more movement in his periphery and Caleb realized he couldn’t take it. Cameron thought it was a joke, the random strangers around him thought it was some kind of performance art piece, and his life was crumbling at his feet.
For a second, he felt like he was dying. He was outside of his body, entirely numb, watching it happen to someone else.
Help, he wanted to beg.Someone fuckinghelpme.
Then, suddenly, there was a hand on his wrist. He yanked himself back, his fight or flight rippling up his spine, and he almost started punching before he recognized the dark hair and light brown eyes of his newest employee. An instant calm stole over him—almost like the eye of his emotional storm was passing over them both.
Bodhi. The younger man grazed the back of Caleb’s wrist. His touch was so,sowarm.
Caleb was finally able to take a breath and his gaze fixed to Bodhi’s lips because the guy never, ever signed when there were people watching. “Come with me.”
Caleb was the worst at reading lips, but he was hyper focused, so he was able to understand. And even if he hadn’t, Bodhi touched his shoulder and gently propelled him toward the door. Caleb was only barely aware of his brother passing by him, his hands flying along with Luke’s who was presumably explaining to Wren what the hell had just happened.
Because, of course, it wasn’t just strangers who had witnessed the whole thing. It was every customer in the café, and every employee that worked under him.
Jesus God inheavenjust bury him under cement and leave him there.
Caleb was entirely unaware of moving through the café and into his office until he was being pushed into his cushy chair, and then Bodhi was kneeling in front of him. His lips were moving, probably saying something soothing, but it set Caleb off.
His hand slapped down on the wood, making Bodhi jump, his eyes staring up, wide and terrified. “I can’t understand you. I can’t read lips. How many times do I have to tell you that?”
“Sorry,” Bodhi signed quickly his eyes darting away, his fist moving in a stuttered circle over his heart.
He wasn’t nearly as expressive as he needed to be, and Wren had mentioned that he had a feeling Bodhi was on the spectrum. Neither one of them wanted to make assumptions, though, and Bodhi hadn’t said anything about it, so Caleb felt he wasn’t wrong to assume Bodhi was just being lazy.
“Sorry,” Bodhi signed again. He stood up and took a few steps back, and for some reason, the space between them caused Caleb’s panic to rise harder and faster than before.
He didn’t realize that he was gasping for breath until Bodhi was rushing forward, dropping to his knees and pressing a hand to Caleb’s chest. He tapped out a count on Caleb’s wrist:one, two, three. One, two, three.
On and on it went until Caleb could fill his lungs again, and his head wasn’t spinning, and it didn’t feel like he was about to topple off the side of a fucking mountain. He licked his lips, his tongue painfully dry, and he groped around on the shelf behind his chair for his water.
It was tepid which made it easier to swallow, and he passed a hand down his face which was shaking like he was out in a frigid winter. A laugh bubbled against the back of his throat, and it must have been loud because Bodhi startled and almost fell back.
“Sorry,” Caleb signed, then shook out his hand to try and get his limbs to calm down. His fight had turned into flight and all he wanted to do was race out the side door and go home and never look back. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”
“Panic attack,” Bodhi spelled, slow on his fingers. “I get them all the time. Have you had one before?”
Caleb shook his head. “No. My brother gets them, though. I just didn’t realize they felt like that.”
“Like you’re dying?” Bodhi asked.
Caleb scoffed and leaned back, rotating his wrists before he answered. “Is that what it’s like for you?”
Bodhi stood up, but instead of moving away, he perched his hip against Caleb’s desk, and Caleb didn’t want to admit how grateful he was that Bodhi was still crowded in kind of close. It should have felt claustrophobic, but instead, it was just a small comfort.
“Not always,” Bodhi signed. “Sometimes I get really angry and I don’t realize it’s a panic attack until it’s over. It’s like, every sensation just pisses me off, and I want to scream and hit things until I can take a full breath.”
