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He felt the rumble of voice—a groan, maybe? Then Caleb’s lips parted, and Bodhi mirrored him. An unfamiliar tongue darted out, tasting his lower lip before gently pressing in between his teeth, and Bodhi met him with a sigh that felt like it was on the edge of a sob.
It felt so good he didn’t know what to do with himself. He wanted to cling to Caleb and hold him and never let go.
But that wasn’t possible, he knew, and he was proven right when Caleb broke the kiss. He trailed off with a few pecks against the edge of Bodhi’s jaw, and when Bodhi was brave enough to look, Caleb’s expression was pained.
“I shouldn’t have done that.”
Bodhi flinched and started to look away, but Caleb grabbed his chin and turned his gaze back.
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
Bodhi swallowed thickly. “You regret it?”
“No,” Caleb’s fingers snapped. “Never. But you’re drunk and I’m your boss.”
“Doesn’t change how much I wanted it,” Bodhi told him, feeling both reckless and brave because he’d crossed a line that was impossible to uncross. Their only choices now were moving forward or pretending like it never happened. And Bodhi was pretty sure he’d die if Caleb chose the second option.
Caleb’s face softened and he traced a touch over Bodhi’s lips—too soft for his liking, but he wouldn’t deny the other man anything. Not right then. He grabbed Caleb’s wrist and kissed his fingertips before letting go.
Caleb shuddered, his face looking shattered again. “You need to sleep.”
“Are you going to pretend this never happened?” Bodhi asked.
Caleb licked his lips, then shook his head. “No. But I’m not in the best place for a relationship right now either.”
Right. Right.Fuck. Bodhi was such an asshole for forgetting. He sat up before Caleb could stop him and tried to swing his legs out of the bed, but Caleb held him back.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m sorry,” Bodhi signed frantically. He needed to pace, and he carefully removed himself from Caleb’s grasp and stood up. “I forgot you’re hurt. I forgot, and I pushed you, and—”
“Stop.” Caleb was on his feet and his command was perfectly visible even from Bodhi’s awkward angle as he made a sharp right turn. Bodhi’s fingers were dancing but his feet stilled. “I meant stop apologizing,” Caleb clarified. “You can move however you need.”
Bodhi let out a breath, almost laughed, and began to pace again.
“I wanted to kiss you,” Caleb told him when he had Bodhi’s attention. “I think I’ve wanted to do that since the night you came here and hugged me.”
Bodhi stilled again. “Why?”
“Why what?”
Bodhi laughed. “Would you want to kissme?”
Caleb threw up his hands in frustration. “Because I like you! You’re beautiful. And you’re kind. And smart. You’re funny—you make me smile even when you’re not around. I didn’t realize it until recently, and I’m so sorry because you deserved better.”
Bodhi wasn’t sure how to answer that. He was processing Caleb’s signs, which were slower but still on the edge of too fast for him. He rolled them over and over in his head until they sank in. Until what Caleb was actuallysayingsank in.
Then he wanted to cry again because no one had ever talked to him that way. No one had ever made him feel precious or wanted or capable. Everything about him was usually a burden. His brother loved him but had taken the role of translator, like Bodhi had to be explained to “normal” people so they’d feel sorry enough for him that they wouldn’t mock him to his face.
He was pretty sure Ravi didn’t know he was aware he behaved that way, and that’s what made it so much worse.
But Caleb was different. He made Bodhi feel brave and worthy—things that were new and wonderful and terrifying.
“I’d like you to lie back down when you can,” Caleb said. “You need rest. You need to sleep off all the alcohol.”
Bodhi shrugged. “I threw it up on that guy’s shoes.”
Caleb burst into laughter, shaking his head before he crossed the room. His hands were hesitant as they reached for Bodhi, and moved only when Bodhi nodded his assent. Warm arms pulled him into an embrace even better than the previous hugs Bodhi had both given and gotten from Caleb.
