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He swallowed heavily and nodded. “Yeah. I saw you there. Talking with Caleb.”
The guy’s smile widened. “Yeah. He’s such a nice guy. I was a little nervous going in there. I haven’t been since Wren and I…” His fingers came to a halt, and Bodhi didn’t need him to finish. He rarely paid attention to Wren’s personal life, but Bodhi knew his reputation. “Sorry,” the guy signed again. “I’m Anthony.” He spelled his name, then offered his sign name.
Bodhi offered his back, even as resentment curled in his chest. This Anthony was fucked over by Wren, so he thought he’d try the other brother? Not that Bodhi could compare to him. He was obviously closer to Caleb’s age, and fluent, and good looking, and…
Bodhi snapped out of his thoughts when he realized Seth was standing beside him. He shot to his feet and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand while signing with the other, “Sorry. I didn’t see you.” He turned his back on Anthony, determined not to look at him again.
Seth smiled, oblivious to the tension, and beckoned Bodhi along to his office. When he shut the door, he gestured for Bodhi to take a seat in one of the chairs, and he took the other one that wasn’t behind the desk. Bodhi always took comfort in the fact that Seth didn’t put huge barriers between him and his students, but right now, he wasn’t sure anything could calm his racing heart.
He wanted to text Caleb and tell him never mind. To end it before it crashed and burned. He’d never regret Caleb being his first, but when there was so clearly an expiration date in sight, it was hard not to feel defeated.
“You seem very distracted,” Seth told him.
Bodhi let out a slow breath. “Yes. Sorry. I was shaken up a little.”
Seth’s brows dipped into a frown. “My fiancé wasn’t rude to you, was he?”
Bodhi blinked at him. “Your fiancé?”
“Anthony,” Seth spelled. “You were sitting next to him in the lobby. Did he say something that upset you? He goes off on tangents sometimes, but I promise he means well.”
Bodhi felt like he was going to pass out from both relief and confusion. Anthony was engaged? So why was he flirting with Caleb? They’d been touching, and laughing, and…and…
God, was he reading too much into something? Maybe he’d just imagined the whole thing. And that would mean what? He was losing his mind?
Forcing the thought spiral to stop, Bodhi pressed his fingers to his temples and began to rub them until the room stopped threatening to spin. Everything was too much. He felt another meltdown creeping up his spine and he shoved it back as quickly as he could.
He could not do that in his professor’s office.
A gentle touch against his elbow forced his gaze up, and for a brief second, he met his professor’s concerned eyes.
“Do you need to talk about it?”
Bodhi shook his head, then bit his lip and changed the motion to a nod. He forced his hands down, then rolled his shoulders back. “Sorry.”
Seth’s whole body was quiet and still as he took Bodhi in. He had a very comforting energy, like all the ways Bodhi imagined a dad would be—should be. Like his own had never been given the opportunity.
“You’re here for an extension on your assignment and quiz,” Seth eventually said.
Bodhi wanted to cry. He didn’t want to relive the experience with his grandparents with the way he was feeling. He lifted his still-trembling hands. “Yes, please. I had some personal drama happen.”
Seth’s eyes crinkled in the corners as he nodded. “I’ve had that happen more than once, and I’m happy to help. But if something like this comes up again, please email me first before missing more than a day.”
Bodhi felt a little guilty, but there had been no way in hell he could have had the focus to do that. He raised his hands to say as much, but his fingers were shaking again, so he shook them out, then repeatedly ran his palms over his jeans until the sensation went away.
Seth watched him with a careful, curious frown. “Do you want to reschedule this meeting?”
Bodhi shook his head quickly. “No. Sorry. Signing is hard for me sometimes when my body feels…” His hands hovered in the air, but he didn’t have a word for what it felt in either of his languages, so he just shrugged. “I’m autistic.” He hoped that explained enough, and from the expression on Seth’s face, it did.
“Do you want me to put my CI on so we can speak with voices?”
Bodhi’s eyes went wide. He hadn’t even realized Seth had one. All the same, he shook his head again. “My hearing aids are in my dorm somewhere and I can’t go back there right now.”
The professor’s brow furrowed deeper. “Something happened to you.”
It wasn’t a question. Bodhi could tell from his expression. He swallowed heavily and glanced at Seth’s shoes, which were Nike—scuffed and well-worn like most of Bodhi’s things. It was only when his stuff looked ragged that it was the most comfortable for him.
The thought almost made him smile.
