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“When we did our family assignment,” Bodhi started, feeling both nervous and brave, “I talked about my dad.”
“I remember.”
Bodhi had told teachers about his grandparents before. Never one of his university professors, but in high school, his teachers either hadn’t wanted to be bothered with at home drama, or they’d believed his grandparents were right.
But Seth Peters was different. Hehadto be different…didn’t he?
“My mom gave me and my brother to my grandparents when we were little,” he said. His lexicon wasn’t big enough for the complexity of what had happened, so he kept it simple. “They didn’t like us.” Bodhi gestured to his arm—to the color of his skin, and he saw on Seth’s face when he got what Bodhi was trying to say. “They also didn’t like that we were deaf.”
The professor’s eyes went dark. “I’ve heard that story about a thousand times before with people just like you.”
“Is it your story too?” Bodhi asked.
He laughed and shrugged. “My parents are better about it now. They were more upset when I came out as gay.”
Bodhi flinched because yeah. He could only imagine what his grandparents would have to say about Caleb.
Seth’s face went immediately sympathetic. “How bad…?” He stopped, then clarified, “How bad is it now?”
Licking his lips, Bodhi let himself stim for a second. That familiar tingle playing at the base of his spine told him he wasn’t going to walk away from this meeting without needing to vent his emotions when all was said and done. But he wanted to wait until he was alone.
He needed to.
“They were here on campus. I think they want us to come home with them.”
“You’re adults,” Seth fired back.
Bodhi wanted to laugh. He was so sick and tired of that being the only response he got from everyone, as though he wasn’t fully aware that he and Ravi were functional adults who were no longer beholden. But it was so much more complicated than that. A few years away at college didn’t erase the chokehold they’d had on the two of them for years.
Or the fear that if it didn’t work out, he’d be stuck begging at their door, willing to sacrifice everything about who he was for shelter.
Logically, he knew that was ridiculous. He was building a network of people who cared about him—and worse came to worst, he had his dad and the family who had always wanted to know him. A family he planned on getting to know once he felt safe and stable.
But logic and his brain didn’t always get along. Especially in his worst moments.
He felt a touch on his arm, and he looked up at his professor. “How much time do you need?”
Bodhi blinked, confused. “Time?”
“For the quiz. I’m going to give you a pass on the presentation.”
Bodhi quickly shook his head. “No. No. I can do it. I just wanted you to know that I was trying. But it was too much. Ravi got hurt, and I couldn’t go home, and I was panicking, and I was with Caleb, and…”
Seth touched him again and Bodhi realized he was shaking and babbling. He pulled away from the touch which was kind but didn’t feel good, and he flapped his hands a few times.
When he was calm, embarrassment set in, but Seth wasn’t looking at him with disgust or pity, or any of the things that would have made him feel worse. He was just watching him with an understanding Bodhi had craved his entire life.
To his horror, his eyes began to burn.
“I lost my hearing when I was thirteen,” Seth told him. Bodhi went entirely still. He hadn’t known that. “I got sick while we were on vacation and the antibiotic they gave me caused hearing loss. In about a month, I was profoundly deaf and still in the hospital.”
Bodhi swallowed heavily. He couldn’t imagine what that would have been like. He and Ravi had never lost anything. They’d just been forced to try and gain something that didn’t belong to them. That wasn’t meant for them.
Seth gave him a watery grin. “I was scared. Panicking. Angry. I was good at reading lips because I used to watch videos on silent when I was supposed to be in bed. It was a useful skill right after it happened.”
Bodhi couldn’t help a small laugh. “I’m so bad at it.”
Seth’s grin softened. “It was great, right up until I caught my mom crying when she thought I wasn’t home. She and my dad were talking. I didn’t catch all of the conversation. Just the part where she was saying that my life would be ruined if I kept refusing the cochlear implant. I didn’t want brain surgery. It scared the shit out of me, but I believed her, so I agreed to get it done. I missed so much school that I had to take classes every single summer.”
