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“We’ve seen it before, a henchman for hire using each job to gain knowledge, experience, and funds before going out on their own.”
“Your file said that the red-tailed hawk worked for Dr. Smith. After he was killed by Ellie—”
“In self-defense,” Grayson interjected.
“Ellie defended herself and put Dr. Smith out of commission,” Cass corrected. “Then, Sandy—assuming Sandy and the red-tailed hawk are one and the same—was open for self-employment.”
“Right.” He wondered if she had a hypothesis, if she saw something he hadn’t.
“So again, that goes back to my question, what did they want with a cat?” Cass pursed her full lips as she thought. “The report didn’t go in-depth about her, but it did mention she had previously been a rescued experiment and that experimentation had left her with special abilities.”
“Right.” Grayson nodded. “Ellie can bend light around herself to appear invisible.”
“So Dr. Smith didn’t want a cat, but he wanted the experiment who had that ability. Whatever his intentions with her were, it could be entirely possible that the hawk is picking up where Smith left off.”
Grayson had no answers. He knew Cass didn’t need them. She was proposing questions to get him thinking. “Maybe we’ll find out tomorrow.”
* * *
During dinner, Grayson had chatted happily away about his new career as an instructor, and while she’d been glad for the reprieve from talking about herself, she couldn’t help but regret that any chance at romance seemed to fizzle out.
The car ride back to FUCN’A was completely business. They chatted about the case, keeping the conversation safe and off themselves. Cass wasn’t sure if she should pursue it further or give up and talk about work. To be safe, she kept it all business.
She parked her car in the near-empty lot at WANC.
“I have to finish up some paperwork inside.” Grayson paused, locking eyes with her. It sounded like an invitation.
Grayson had been shy back in the day when it came to women. If he was the same now, Cass couldn’t be sure if he was hinting that he wanted her to come with him. Why couldn’t he say what he wanted? It was strange that they’d once been so close, so able to tell each other exactly what they wanted, and now they were almost strangers. She had only herself to blame, after she’d hurt him so badly and let so many years go by without so much as a phone call to check in with him.
“Do you need help?” She tested the waters, prodded for his intention.
“If you want to.” He shrugged. “I could use the company.” Subtle, though more direct than before. But still not committed. He was keeping himself safe.
Cass wouldn’t waste the invitation, tentative as it was. She didn’t want to leave him. Not yet. Dinner had been so nice. A well-earned distraction. When she took this mission, she thought she wanted to prove she was different. A new and improved Cass. But now she wanted more. That surprised her. The feelings for Gray from long ago bubbled up. Despite telling herself over and over that she’d come to FUCN’A with no expectations, she couldn’t deny that she wanted nothing more than for things between them to heat up again.
The thing was she wasn’t sure if she deserved it. She may have changed, but that didn’t mean she didn’t still need to pay penance for how she’d treated Gray the last time they worked together. It ate at her; a simmering guilt wedged deep in her gut. Because of it, she couldn’t be certain if she was perusing him because she wanted another chance for a relationship or because she wanted his approval to erase her guilt over her behavior years ago. Cass wanted to be sure of her motives before she made a move. Right now, she was testing him and herself.
She couldn’t bear the thought of breaking his heart again.
She’d told herself he was “the one that got away,” but in reality, she’d driven him away, and she had to live with that. Mend all the ugly bits inside herself. And she didn’t mean the scars from the wreckage that left her mangled. There were personality wounds from her childhood that needed healing. Defense mechanisms to weed out and replace with healthier responses. Recovery and growth that had to be done before she could be worthy of a man like Grayson.
She followed him through the parking lot and toward the building. To the side, crickets sang in the grass of the campus, a serenade against the backdrop of a sky sprinkled with stars.
Grayson held the doors to the main building open for her, and they wound through the empty halls toward his office. Most of the agents had cleared out for the night. A few lingered behind, clacking at their computers.
“The nocturnal shifters usually have classes in the sub-floors,” he explained. “They like windowless rooms in case they happen to work past sunrise.”
She nodded, suddenly unsure of what to say.
When they arrived at his office, Grayson immediately settled in behind his computer and logged on. He glanced up at her after typing something in. “You look worried. Is everything okay?”
Based on his earlier lines of questioning, Cass figured he was probably wondering if the day’s events were finally getting to her. Telling him that was the case would almost be an easy out, but she opted for the truth. “I’m wondering where we’d be if I hadn’t been such an ass back then.”
“You’ll always be ASS, Cass.” He gave her a crooked smile. “Once an ASS agent, always an ASS agent, but FUCN’A always welcomes your kind as instructors, if that’s what you’re thinking about.”
She appreciated his effort at levity, but Pandora’s box had been opened, and she had to see it through. “You know what I mean. If I’d been a better person back then, if I’d been better to you… If we’d… been able to stay together.”
His eyebrows wrinkled as he reflected. “I don’t think we’ll ever be able to answer that question,” he mused softly. He kept his attention on her, no longer focused on the report and the computer before him.
