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I’ve sought a lot of refuge in books, both fiction and self-help. I’m learning more about myself. I figure it can’t hurt to let the words of others shed some light on the darkness that’s consistently clouding my thoughts. No matter how many things I do though, uncertainty hangs with me.
Jasmine’s absence only amplifies my struggles. I miss her. She’s been more than a partner for the past two years, she’s been a friend who gives unwavering support, and her ability to see the best in me even when I can’t see it in myself is invaluable. I understand the importance of our time apart, though. We need this, need space to find ourselves, to know if we’re supposed to be together.
I start to explore alternative career paths. I research organizations dedicated to serving others. I talk with people about their passions, and I still don’t know what comes next. I thought I’d be FBI forever, so now I’m lost, not knowing which direction my life’s supposed to go. I could go back to college, but that sounds awful. Whatever career path I choose has to have action. I don’t do well sitting behind a desk.
I’m in unchartered territory for the first time in my life. This doesn’t mean I won’t figure it out, but this time apart from the woman I love might be good for me. How in the world am I supposed to be a partner to her if I don’t know who I am or where I’m going? I think a lot of relationships fail because we’re too broken to be able to help the person we love.
I’m still fighting all of this when one simple text message comes in:Come see me, please.
My heart thuds with excitement as I read Jasmine’s words over and over. It’s been two weeks since I’ve held her. I have no thought of playing it cool here. I don’t bother changing out of my sweats and favorite hoodie. It’s hot outside, and I don’t care. I’ve been in my buddy’s apartment all day, and he keeps the temperature below seventy, which freezes me. I have to keep my blood circulating.
I grab my wallet and keys and rush out the door. I fight the worry that she might want to end things. There’s no way that’s how our stories will play out. I’ve missed her like crazy, and I know she’s missing me too. We can’t have what we have and not want to be together. All of my doubts fade as I start my car and rush onto the road.
As I park at her condo building, a mixture of anticipation and anxiety fill me. We’ve had a lot of time for self-discovery. Will this make us stronger? I believe it will. I knock on the door and it immediately opens. Jasmine looks beautiful even with dark circles and messed up hair. I don’t hesitate to pull her into my arms. I could almost shed a tear as she holds me just as tightly.
“I’m sorry this took so long,” she tells me. I reluctantly pull back so I can see her beautiful face.
“I told you I’ll give you anything you need. If it’s time, that’s what I’ll give. I hate it, but I want you to be happy.” I’ve never meant anything more.
We move into the living room and she curls up beside me as we begin to talk. We both share our soul searching and what we’ve been doing. She relaxes more and more as we continue to talk.
“I’ve been so lost,” she says.
“I can’t imagine what it feels like to lose memories, Jazz. You’ll get them back or you won’t. It really doesn’t matter at the end of the day though, because we can make more memories... as long as we’re together to do it.” Relief floods me as she snuggles closer.
“I want that, Hunter. I wanted to make sure you wouldn’t resent me for changing your life. As hard as it’s been being apart, we needed to do this. But I don’t want to be without you anymore. I might not remember falling in love with you the first time, but I know how I feel when I’m with you. When you’re gone, half of me is gone as well.”
“We might not always have the answers, Jazz, and that’s okay. We can forge our own path and face the unknown together, armed with the knowledge that we have each other’s unwavering support. That’s so much more than many people have.”
“I love how optimistic you are. It was the first thing that drew me to you when I didn’t think you’d ever be mine. You always look on the bright side. Life’s too short to be negative. It’s easy to do in such a dark world, but if more people look for the light, we can make it shine so bright we’ll cast out the shadows.”
“And we’ll look for opportunities and carve out our own unique path in life, trusting that whatever choices we make will lead to fulfillment. We’ll make wrong decisions, but that’s okay, because every step we take is one more chapter finished in our book.”
She leans back and smiles at me. “I love you, Hunter. I knew that from the moment I woke up in that hospital. I love you, and love how I feel about myself when I’m with you. I want to get out of here, take a trip to paradise, and find each other again. Will you go away with me?”
I grin ear to ear. “I’ll move mountains to take you anywhere you want to go.”
I lean down and kiss her. The hard part is behind us. From here on out our love will shine far too brightly for any shadows to intrude.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jasmine
After traveling on the family jet to Fiji, I’m well rested as Hunter and I step onto the warm and welcoming shores of this beautiful country. The prospect of exploring this exotic paradise with Hunter at my side makes life worth living.
“You’re spoiling me, Jazz. I can’t imagine ever riding coach again,” Hunter says with a bemused look on his face.
“You just like the bed in the jet,” I tell him with a wink.
He gives me a big grin. “Oh, Ilovethe bed in the jet. You might want to tell whoever cleans it to just throw those sheets away.”
He looks so dang proud of himself it makes me giggle and blush. We certainly broke in that bed, making love three times on the way from the States to Fiji. I’m happy we didn’t break the bed. Being apart has made our reunion quite... aerobic in our eagerness to come together again. What a fool I was to take so much time apart from this man I love.
A vehicle is waiting for us, and it doesn’t take long for us to arrive at the private terminal that will take us to our resort. We’re whisked to the terminal where we only wait a short time in the transfer lounge. Soon, we’re up in the air in a helicopter and cruising over the crystal-clear waters on a forty-five-minute flight to our private island.
I haven’t told Hunter how much this trip costs. It’s better for him not to know. I want no heart attacks on our luxury vacation. Coming to Fiji gets us out of the real world. We need this more than anything else, and the truth is I’m incredibly wealthy. This trip won’t come close to touching my trust fund.
I’ve lived as modestly as possible in Miami because it’s good to be humble. The reality is I’ve grown up with extreme wealth. I’ve worked hard in spite of it, and I don’t regret taking the vacation of a lifetime with the man I love and will spend the rest of my life with.
