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“It’s okay,” I whisper. Then I call out to Everly. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
“No rush,” she replies. Pax still appears distraught.
“I’ll see you later, okay?”
He hesitates as he glances at the door again, and my heart breaks for him. The closet he’s put himself in is a prison of his own making, which means that only he can set himself free.
8
THOMAS
“I’d just like to start off this conversation by saying I won't even bother trying to talk you out of this,” Everly says, as soon as Pax has disappeared and she and I are alone.
“Good,” I reply, zipping my bag and throwing the strap over my shoulder. “Because that would be super hypocritical.”
“I know,” she adds, but I can tell by the tightness of her lips that she has more to say.
“But…?”
“But…”
“Just come out with it already, Everly. But do it while we walk because I need coffee. Or alcohol.” It’s only 10:00 a.m., so I guess I should stick with caffeine.
“I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”
“Worried about what?” I ask, locking the door to the room behind us.
“Promise not to bite my head off for what I’m about to say.”
“Not a chance I’ll be making that promise.”
“Fine. I’ll say it anyway,” she replies, before scanning the hallway to make sure we’re truly alone. “Thomas, you tend to get yourself more emotionally invested in these flings than you think you do.”
“What?” I nearly shout as I glare at her. “I do not.”
“Yes, you do. What about Nico?”
“WhataboutNico?” I snap back. I’ve only just noticed that he hasn’t texted or called since I slept over at his place Saturday night, not that he normally does. In fact, he usually only contacts me on the weekends and not even every weekend. I know I’m a booty call to him, but usually by the middle of the week, I start to get anxious or irritated by his lack of communication.
“He’s been stringing you along for two years, Thomas. And don’t say it doesn’t bother you that he only calls you for sex. I’m the one who has to listen to you complain about it.”
Well, fuck. She’s crazy if she thinks I’m going to fess up to that.
“I promise that is not what is happening with Pax. It was a one...or two-time thing, but I’m not getting emotionally invested in him like that. He’s not even old enough to drink for fuck’s sake.”
“He’s not even out yet,” she replies in a low whisper. “Is that really something you want to be a part of?”
Fuck, no. I went through my own coming out when Pax was probably in diapers. It’s not really something I want to relive, and I’m certainly not interested in going through that with the guy I'm dating either. Everly doesn’t understand this thing with Pax, and honestly, neither do I.
We reach the coffee shop on campus and after we both order our drinks, I find a table for us while we wait. It’s loud in here, bustling with students and music, so it’s semi-private enough to carry on a conversation.
“Listen, I promise I’m not getting emotionally involved with him like that, okay?”
“What do you mean ‘like that?’” she asks.
“I just mean that I feel bad for the kid. I mean, obviously he’s had a rough life,” I say, gesturing to my face, and she nods understandingly. “He’s in the closet, and I mean...he’s fucking homeless, Everly.” I make sure to completely whisper that part, and her eyes go wide as I say it.
“Homeless?” she replies, ducking lower over the table, so no one can hear.
