AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Don’t you dare repeat that to anyone, especially Cullen. It would only piss Pax off and I can handle it for now, okay?”
She nods in understanding, just as the barista calls our names. I quickly grab them from the counter and when I return to the table, Everly has a concerned expression on her face.
“Promise you won’t say anything,” I repeat.
“I promise, really.”
“Then what are you thinking?” I ask.
She chews her lip as she adds sugar to her coffee. “I’m just thinking...poor kid. Cullen’s only told me a little bit of what he knows, and I mean...he was dealt a really shitty hand.”
I have to bite my lip because as badly as I am dying to know what Cullen knows, there’s a part of me that only wants to hear it from Pax himself, as if he would ever open up to me.
“Do me a favor and don’t tell me,” I say. “Like I said, I can take care of it for now, but if I really think he’s in trouble, I’ll report something, okay?”
“Okay,” she agrees. We sit in silence for a moment, and I can practically see the wheels turning in her head. Everly always has something to say. She’s obsessed with right and wrong and justice whenever possible. But we live in gray areas that she just cannot seem to accept.
“Just say whatever you’re thinking,” I tell her.
“I don’t want to. I’ll jinx it.”
A laugh bubbles up from my chest. “Since when are you superstitious?”
“I’m not. I was just thinking that...maybe this is exactly what you need.”
“And what’s that?” I ask, expecting her to say something like a tragic heartbreak to set me straight (not literally) or a tough rugby player to knock some sense into me. Instead, she drops a bomb of reality I wasn’t prepared to hear.
“Someone who needs you.”
And I don’t know why that piece of truth hurts, like pouring salt on a wound I forgot I had, but all I can do is nod and pretend she didn’t just say that. Is someone needing me the only way I can get them to stay with me? Or do I genuinely need to feel valued by the men I let into my life? Which of those applies to Pax? Does he really need me or is he just looking for a place to crash? I don’t want to be a landing pad for some homeless twenty-year old with nowhere else to go.
But that’s exactly what I’m doing, isn’t it? Maybe because I’m actually starting to like this one. I like the idea that he needs me, but it scares me because what happens when he doesn’t anymore?
9
PAX
The impact of my body slamming into the forward holding the ball is so hard it rattles my fucking skull, but he goes down, and the ball flies out of his hands, allowing my teammate to take possession.
“Good energy, Smith!” the coach calls from the sidelines. “Nice play!”
It just so happens that I’m full of enough pent-up energy and irritation today that my body is doing the job without having to think about it too much.
Slam that guy into the ground? No problem.
Knock this team off their feet? Easy.
Why am I so full of anger today? Well, it could have been that little stunt Thomas pulled during class this morning, calling me out when it was clearly Richards who needed the ass-handing. But he called on me, told me to act right, and that pissed me off. I might be his student, but I’m not his bitch and I don't play power-trip games.
Which I think he understood after class when he basically handed control over to me. And everything was good. Thomas has a way of knowing exactly what I need and giving it to me exactly when I need it. He makes everything so easy, and I’m starting to really fucking like him. He’s easy to be around, even the silence is comfortable and he doesn’t push me, even when I can tell he wants to do so.
But then Ms. West had to walk in, and even though it’s one more person who knows my secret now, it feels like everyone does.
Thomas is in my head, and I know I need to just stop seeing him, stop going to his place and letting myself get away with what feels good and make the smart choice. He’s getting too close, and once I let him in, I might as well just let everyone and everything in.
Is he worth it?
Fuck if I know.
