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I’d always imagined this kind of situation would lead to a kiss, but Julian didn’t kiss me. There was a deep, burning edge to his stare. This sure wasn’t hearts and flowers, it was far closer to one of my filthy stories, and it was ten times more intense than I’d imagined. It was enough to knock me sideways.
I was shaking as I stood there before him, my knees feeling so weak they could buckle.
“As I told you, you are innocent,” he said, his voice low. “Far too innocent.”
I couldn’t counter it. The heat from him burnt too much for me to say a word.
“Innocent,” he repeated, and I was still locked in his stare.
I whimpered as he pushed his thumb inside my mouth without so much as a hint of a warning. My hands made to move up on instinct, but they dithered as his thumb played with my tongue. His eyes were boring into mine as he explored my mouth. His thumb was probing, rough… dirty, and I felt self-conscious, my breaths fluttering as he pulled out and ran his wet thumb across my lips.
I was unsure what the hell to do. I felt the opposite of some kind of sex goddess. I was a world away from smirking sexily and pulling him close for more.
He read me. His smile said it all.
“Time for you to get to work,” he said and stepped away, the moment gone.
I couldn’t argue. I daren’t. I was a bundle of nerves as I picked up my bag from the floor.
“Ok,” I said. “I’ll… see you later. If that’s ok.”
“Of course,” he said. “That’s more than ok. We still have your situation to resolve. You’ll be very safe here.”
Very safe.
I’d blown it. I felt like a gawky idiot as I dashed out of there. I knew he’d be watching me from the window as I walked away from the block. I was in plenty of time for work, but marched on a mission, trying to get out of view.
I’d fucked up.
I’d blown my chances.
I’d acted like the innocent little girl he’d expected me to be. I was so fucked off with myself, I could scream.
I thought I’d resigned myself to the obvious by the time I began my shift. Me and Julian were heading nowhere. That might have been true if it wasn’t a busy Sunday evening and I wasn’t in and out of the kitchen, helping the front of house staff.
It was getting towards closing time when I saw Sarah Brown and Lucinda Morris arrive at the counter with Mark and Evan Reynolds in tow. The girls were so confident, flirting, and giggling. Moving against the guys so naturally as they reached out for them. It was obvious those two knew what they were doing, yeah, but they were no older than me. In fact, I think Lucinda was younger, but it wasn’t holding her back.
Why should it hold me back? Why should goofing up once set the scene between me and Julian for ever? I couldn’t undo how nervous I’d been, no, but I could repair the damage of wide eyes and unsteady legs. I could at leasttry.I had to.
I was still pumped as I grabbed my coat at the end of shift and set off back to Crenham. I stopped on the corner before our block came into view, opening my backpack to shove my cap in there. Then I pulled my hair loose, trying my best to fluff it up before I became visible. I somehow knew that Julian would be watching out of his window with a cigarette in his mouth.
Time to go. I stepped into view and headed for the gate, not once looking up to see if he was there. I didn’t care all that much for checking the corridors were empty as I made my way upstairs. I dashed past my apartment door and practically leapt up the next flight, determined. I rapped my knuckles against the door of apartment six, holding onto my nerves as tightly as I possibly could do – the image of Lucinda and Sarah still in my mind.
Confidence.
Julian smiled naturally when he opened the door. His dark gaze was all gone, and he was perfectly composed as he welcomed me in, but I couldn’t just go along with it.
“Good day?” he said.
I didn’t answer his question.
It was my turn to make the move this time.
I threw my backpack to the floor as soon as he’d closed the door, and pushed him up against the wall in the hallway, just like he had me. I stared up at him with utter authenticity, true to the sensations I was feeling inside.
“Rosie–” he began, but I didn’t give him the chance to finish.
I grabbed his hand from his side and raised it to my mouth, and then – with my eyes still fixed on his – I sucked on his thumb like the dirty little bitch I wanted to be.
