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“BULLSHIT!” I yelled. “That’s absolute BULLSHIT, Mum! Scottie is a piece of shit who should have fucked off long ago! He’d still be here causing shit and fucking you over if it wasn’t for Julian. And he’d be fucking ME over, too! He’d be fucking ME over, just like you, if it wasn’t for Julian saving me!”
The memory hit me hard again. The memory of him pinning me to the bed and threatening me in the dark, and it was horrible. Vile. Disgusting. Like he was. Scottie was disgusting. He was acunt, as Julian rightly said.
My eyes met Mum’s and she saw my pain.
“It’s not just you Scottie was a cunt to, Mum! Not at the end!”
“Scottie fucking you over? What do you mean?” she asked. “Scottie and I had our arguments, sure, but he wouldn’t fuck you over, Rosie. It’s about me and him, not you. He loves you!”
My own tears came then, along with hysterical laughter. I should have walked. I wanted to. But my feet still wouldn’t move. I was frozen to the spot. It wasmecovering my face with my hands this time. Broken.
“Scottie doesn’t love anyone,” I sobbed. “I knocked on Julian’s door more than once, you know, and that was for a reason. It was for a REASON!”
“What?” She paused, keys still in her hand. “I don’t get it. What reason?”
I tipped my head back, wishing the tears would go away.
“Talk to me,” Mum said. “Rosie, seriously. You’d better start talking to me. What is this about Scottie? What did he do?”
I could have collapsed on the floor in front of her, hating how my feelings ran wild inside me, twisting and stabbing. I managed to spit my words out, barely audible through the tears.
“Scottie threatened me. Yourboyfriendcame into my bedroom and pinned me down while you were waiting for him in the room next door. He told me he’dfuck me upas well as you if I even dared to stand up to him. He said we’d both pay the price, me AND you! He meant it, Mum! He was going to hurt both of us!He’sthe sicko. Not Julian.Scottieis the fucking sicko.”
Her mind was struggling to keep up with me. Her eyes wide.
“What? Before he went to Scotland? But things were good then. He couldn’t… he wouldn’t…”
My voice choked as I spoke.
“He’s notinScotland,” I told her. “He ran away, finally kicked in the ass by someone who had the power to stop him! And thank fuck for that! Julian’s not on the run, Mum. Scottie is!”
“But of course he’s in Scotland… with his job…” she began, but then she stopped. Her expression changed as she looked at me. My stare was steady, my truth holding firm.
“He was going to hurt me,” I said again, more quietly this time. “I swear to you, Mum, he was going to hurt me. I ran to Julian because I had nowhere else to go. He saved youtwiceand saved me, too. You just didn’t know it. I didn’t tell you.”
She was shaking her head in shock.
“No… it can’t be… no way. Just no way.”
My eyes must have been so honest. I hated myself as I saw how hurt she was.
“It’s true,” I told her. “Scottie threatened me. It was Julian who saved me, and Julian who chased him away.”
The keys fell to the floor as she took her hair in her hands.
“Why?! Why the fuck wouldn’t you have told me that?! That’s crazy! Fucking crazy!”
I kept as calm as I could, letting my words sink in.
“It’s crazy, but it’s true. I’m not lying and you know it. I know you know it. You knowhim.”
“This is crazy insane,” Mum said. “If that’s true–”
“Itistrue,” I said. “Scottie was going to hurt me. And you.”
I watched her eyes register my words, and yeah, she did know it. It was sinking in.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have protected you myself! My God, Rosie, if he’d have hurt you, I’d have killed him. I’d have torn him to pieces! I’d have stabbed him, right in the fucking throat!”
