AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I felt Ethan holding me again, his presence reassuring. Even as my chest tightened, I leaned on him and reached for Ben’s hand to squeeze it and reassure him.
“I’m okay, I stood up too quick,” I lied, and caught Ethan’s gaze, hoping he realized that I wanted to play this off as nothing at all.
“I made pancakes,” Ben patted my arm. “I came in, and you were both asleep, and I was going to bring in surprise pancakes.”
“Pancakes.” I repeated. “I love pancakes.” He’d been into the room, and we hadn’t known? He’d seen us in bed together, he’d seen us hugging, and his one thought was to go out and make pancakes.Hewasn’t freaking out. He trusted his dad knew what he was doing, and that Ethan was part of what was happening, and that this was the way life was.I need to get my shit together.Ethan would have explained if there was an Amber Alert, I wasn’t a prisoner here, I was safe, and so was Ben.
“I think I need to clean up though, pancakes are messy.” Ben sounded despondent.
I ruffled his hair. “We’ll all clear up,” I reassured him, then hugged Ben and guided him out of the bedroom towards the kitchen. I still felt wobbly, but I wasn’t about to let Ben know that. “I love pancakes.” The kitchen looked like a bomb had gone off in it, there was flour everywhere, but in the middle of the dining table was a pile of pancakes, not all the same size, not all as fluffy as each other, but each one perfect. We ate the pancakes, cleaned up the kitchen, and Ben went into the main room with the remote control.
“Can we watch something together, Dad?” he asked with such hope it made me smile.
I couldn’t recall what day of the week it was, and it hit me that maybe I should do something with schoolwork for him, but I needed to talk to Ethan, and the television was the best distraction for Ben. “I need to talk to Ethan quickly, and I’ll be back.” I headed for the comms room and hoped to hell that Ethan followed.
“He saw us together.” Ethan murmured, as he shut the comms room door behind us. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think.” He was checking for my reaction, waiting for me to freak out probably, but that was the least of my worries.
“Is anyone looking for us?” I blurted. “Do the authorities think I kidnapped Ben? Is there an Amber Alert out for him? What does his school think? What is my ex doing? What about Rouxier? What are the Sanctuary guys doing? What about the rest of your team? How long can you be here?” Panic built inside me. I’d slid so easily into staying here, and not thinking about what was happening outside. What I should have been doing was askingallthe questions.
Ethan squeezed my shoulders, and the touch grounded me, calming some of the panic. Now I needed answers to each of the questions.
“These are all valid questions. Rouxier and your ex haven’t made waves, because that wouldn’t look good—State Rep loses child. There’s no Amber Alert for Ben. The information given to the school is that he is on an extended vacation with his father. No one is asking questions. Rouxier has people working on figuring out what the hell happened, but Sanctuary has made sure that every turn they make meets a dead end.”
“But what about Ruth? I know she acts like she doesn’t care as much as a mom should, but surely she would have gone to the school and… ”
“I know as much as you do, and until Kayden gets here later with the next load of intelligence, all I know is that we are here, hidden away, and it’s my job to look after you both.”
“I need to know what’s happening. Out there.”
“You and me both,” he sighed. “Kayden is due back today or tomorrow, and hopefully he’ll get us up to speed.”
“And then you might leave with him?”
“It’s my job, it’s what I do, Josh.” He gathered me into a hug and held me close. “Last night… ”
“Shouldn’t have happened?” I suggested with caution, burying my face into his neck, and inhaling the scent of him. The last thing I wanted him to say was that he regretted last night, because under all the panic, I didn’t have any regrets.
“Of course, it should have happened,” he kissed my head. “You said you were falling for me?”
I tilted my chin. I remember saying that, just before sleep pulled me away. This was the moment I tell him I was just being stupid, that it was only sex. But I couldn’t. I wanted to be honest. It might be selfish, but I needed to tell him how I felt. Before anything else went wrong.
“I am.”
He smiled then, dropped a kiss to my nose and then to my forehead.
“Whatever comes next, Josh; You and me? Ben making pancakes? Somehow… ” he paused, and my whole world stopped for a moment.
“What?”
“This iseverything.”
ChapterEighteen
Ethan
I didn’t thinkit was possible to have been more honest in a single statement. Something about Josh and Ben made me wish we weren’t in the middle of the mess we were in. Why couldn’t I have met Josh in a normal way? Not that anything in my life was ordinary, not since I’d come home, and started work for the FBI and Danvers. One of the first questions I would ask Kayden was what Danvers was doing—it was one of a long list of questions, not least of which was where the rest of my team was at right now. Even as I held Josh close after announcing how I felt, I still had the unsettled feeling what we had would be temporary—and was I in the right place to promise more?
“Really?” Josh asked. I hated that there was doubt in his tone, but then my announcement was part of the surrounding mess, and I could see how maybe I hadn’t thought things through? “You really see us as having some kind of future after all this is done?” He eased himself away from me, and his expression was one of complete confusion.
