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LUKE
Ishould keep my eyes on the road, but they’re glued to the back ofRachel’shead as we drive home.Allthe baby paraphernalia in back is sobering.Thisis really happening, and yet it doesn’t seem real at all.It’sakin to those dreamsIhave whereIneed to be somewhere, or complete some task, and keep getting delayed or hindered from finishing whatIneed to do; frustrating, daunting, and out of my fucking control.
Twistingin my seat doesn’t make me more comfortable.Mydick is still hard from that kiss.MainlybecauseIcan’t stop thinking about it.I’mso damn stupid.Ican’t give in, not even a little bit.Notafter all these months.Notbefore all hell breaks loose.
RACHEL:Lunch?
“I’drather get a hotel room and fuck your brains out,”Ireply to my phone.
LUKE:Leadthe way.
Sheturns south, the opposite of home, and leads me throughJackson.Weend up at anItalianrestaurant that seems like it would only be open for dinner.
“Thankyou!I’vebeen craving shrimp scampi over linguini for weeks!”Sheexclaims as she eases from the car.Allthe tears from earlier are replaced by her buoyancy.Alwaysa damn emotional rollercoaster.Ihave no idea how she is surviving it.
I’ma wreck.
“Happyto be of service,”Itell her asIlead her by her elbow into the restaurant. “MaybeI’llget something with seafood too.”
“Yes!I’mbuying!Getwhatever you’d like.”
She’snot buying, butI’llentertain her invitation anyway.Therestaurant is nice, dim lighting and white table clothes.IwishIwas wearing something a tad more appropriate, butRachelis in her scrubs.Theplace is practically deserted.Thehostess seats us in a booth near the back, and whenRachelslides into the seat, she pulls my hand to guide me to sit next to her.
“Thisis dangerous,”Imutter.
“Excuseme?”Thehostess asks.
“Um, nothing.Sorry.”
“WhatcanIget you to drink?”
“Twowaters with lemon, please.”
Shesmiles and leaves us with menus, whichRachelpolitely pushes to the other side of the table. “Iknow whatI’mgetting.”
“Thenyou can recommend something for me.”
“Youshould try their seafood lasagna.It’sdivine.”Rachel’ssmile makes my heart expand.
“Ilove you,” slips from my lips unwarranted.
Shelays her head on my shoulder and wraps herself around my arm.Isqueeze her thigh and close my eyes. “Ilove you too,Luke.Ineeded this.”
“Italianfood?”
Shegiggles. “No, silly… downtime with you.Timeto not be your stepmom.”
“AsIsaid, this is dangerous.”
Shesighs, andIregret popping her joyful bubble.
“I’msorryI’msuch a downer,”Iapologize. “I’mjust trying to keep everything in order.”
Shelets go of me when the waitress arrives with our water and takes our orders.Itry to figure out how to remedy the situation.
“Speakingof order, let’s talk about our relationship withOlivia.”
