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Idon’t remember her looking so pregnant this morning.Thereare several strands of hair that have worked out of herFrenchbraid.They’resticking to her skin which is glistening in the morning light.
“Yougoing to come in the door and see me?”
Shovingmy hands in my back pockets,Iwalk to her bedside.Thereare so many monitors and equipmentI’venever seen before, but thenI’veonly ever been in a hospital for one reason.Shereaches for my arm and pulls my hand to her cheek.Hereyes close as she leans into my touch.
“I’malready tired, and the hard part hasn’t even started.”
Herskin is hot and sticky. “You’reburning up.Can’tthey turn down the temperature in here?”
“I’veasked the same question, but everyone seems too focused on other things.”
Spyingthe thermostat on the wall,Iwalk over and crank the cool air.WhenIturn back around, she’s lying back in the bed with her eyes closed.
Isit on the edge of the bed and gently blow on her face.
“I’mso glad you’re here.”
Ismile the bestIcan. “Howare you feeling?”
“Okayright now, but those contractions are a bitch!”Shelaughs, and it helps to lighten the mood.
Suddenly, she grabs the railing, sits up, and curls into herself.I’mnot prepared for the pain on her face. “Shit, what’s wrong?WhatcanIdo?”
Myhands fumble around her body, trying to figure out how to help her.Shegrabs one of them and squeezes the ever-loving shit out of it.
“Contraction!” she blurts out.
“Can’tthey do something?Drugs?Wantme to get a nurse?”
“Idon’t want the epidural.”
“Whythe fuck not,Rachel?Youcan’t do this and be in so much pain!”
Shelaughs at my remark, and then pushes air out of her lungs, breathing in and out at a rhythmic pace.Notknowing what to do,Ilet her squeeze my hand, willing to let her break it if it helps.Finally, her grip loosens, and she slowly lies back in the bed.
“Womenhave been doing this for centuries without pain medication.Gotto say, they have my respect now thatI’mexperiencing it myself, butIintend to do this as naturally as possible.”
Myheart hurts to see her in pain.Afleeting hate for my dad crosses my chest for doing this to her, butIquickly realize that’s not fair.
“Evancalled me.”
Hergrip eases, butIkeep her hand in mine. “Good.Hewanted to talk to you.Actually, he wanted to come with me.”
Rachelsmiles. “Hehas no idea how much hedoesn’twant to be here,” she jokes. “I’mnot sureIcould concentrate with him here.IthinkIwould be more worried about him than myself.”
“Andyou’re not worried about me?”Iask, curious what her answer will be.
“You’rethe strongest manIknow,Luke.That’swhyIwanted you here.”
Ilook around the room. “I’mnot sureIcan stay here through…Imean,Idon’t think…”
Shesqueezes my hand lightly. “Iknow.Youdon’t have to.It’sgoing to take a while so just try to make yourself comfortable.They’lltell you whenI’mclose, and you can wait in the waiting room.”
“I’llstay if you want me to.I’msorry.Ididn’t mean to implyIwouldn’t be here for you.”
“Youdidn’t.Believeme,Iknow this is a lot to take in, andI’mprepared for what’s coming.Youare an old soul,Luke, but you’re still a teenager.Idon’t expect you to be here during the birth, at least not until it’s our baby.”
Ido a double take, thinkingImisunderstood.
