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“Ourbaby?”
Thedoor creaks open.Marysets a blue pitcher on the roll-away table. “I’vecome bearing ice!”
RachelandIare still staring at one another as if we’re still alone with that last comment.Ourgazes only break whenMaryhandsRachela cup of ice.
“Itwill help to cool you down.”
Imove from my spot on the bed to the oversized chair in the corner.I’venever felt so out of place, and that doesn’t improve with time as more and more people invade the space.Dothey not understand how private this is?Mytemper is rising despite the fact thatIknowIneed to calm the fuck down.Ijust want to push all of these people out of the room soIcan hold her hand and talk her through the contractions that are coming faster and faster.
Itfeels like this is taking forever.Idon’t know howRachelis able to push through her pain.Itis the afternoon whenDr.Sumnersarrives and asksRachelhow she’s doing.
Sheis in pain, you moron!
Maryappears in front of me, blocking me from whatever the doctor is tellingRachel.
“It’stime for you to wait down the hall now,” she says softly.
Ilook up at her, still feeling a bit like a caged animal.It’sa shock whenIrealizeIdon’t want to leave.Rachelis talking to the doctor, barely awareI’meven here.WhenIstand, she turns to me and gives me a weak smile asMaryleads me out of the room to the waiting room.
* * *
RACHEL
WhenIopen my eyes, the room is dimly lit.Imust have slept longer thanIrealized, and yetI’mstill exhausted.Atiny squeak draws my attention to the corner next to me.Lukeis sitting with his face in the shadows.Oliviais squirming in his arms with her tiny hand curled around his thumb.Itmakes him look like a giant.Hedoesn’t seem to realizeI’mawake, soIrelax and take in the most moving visionI’veever seen.
Wow!Sheis so tiny in his arms.Hehas her head in the palm of his hand while she is holding tightly to his thumb.Herlittle body is wrapped up tightly and laying the length of his forearm.Hiscorded muscles flex as he gently rocks her back and forth.Withhis other hand, he glides his finger around her rosy face.
Meanwhile, my heart melts and slips to the floor, forever lost to the man holding my baby girl.Helooks up and smiles at me.
“She’sso tiny!Itseems impossible that any human could be this small.”
“She’sperfect,”Isigh.
“Sheis.Aren’tyouLittleMissO?” he coos.
Myeyebrows shoot up. “LittleMissO?”
Heshrugs. “Itfits her.Herlittle mouth keeps making thisOshape.”
“Probablymeans she’s hungry, and if the way my tits feel is any indication, she needs to be fed.”
“Doyou want me to get the nurse?” he asks.
“No,IthinkI’llfeel more comfortable with just the two of us.Youcan bring her to me.”
Ichange the position of the bed with the remote and slip the gown off my shoulder.Milkleaks from my nipple asLukegently placesOliviain my arms.
Shewouldn’t latch earlier, andIthink it’s because there were so many people around.Ididn’t feel comfortable either.Therewas too much pressure to perform, andIwas exhausted on top of it all.Lukeshoves his hands in his pockets, awkwardly lifting his shoulders.Helooks so uncomfortable.
“ShouldIleave?” he asks.
“No, stay.I’llfeel more at ease with you here.”
Ittakes some repositioning and maneuvering, but whenOlivialatches, my heart jumps with joy.Italso makes me afraid to move. “Shedid it!”Iwhisper-scream.
Lukemakes a soft amused sound whileLittleMissOtakes over like nature intended.
“Howare you feeling?” he asks softly, lightly touching my hair.
