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This place didn’t feel like somewhere a good man would go though, yet it felt necessary. The thought of coming had kept me awake too many nights. Ray had finally convinced me to just go and get it out of my system one night after we wrangled our two-year-old son into his bed—with little help from his big brother, who thought watching Miles outrun both of us was the funniest thing on the planet.
“If it becomes too much, you can just leave, and if not, you stay and get out of it what you need,” she had said a week ago while lying on our couch, too exhausted to do anything but wrap her arm around my waist. “But either way, you should go. I think you need to.”
And I’d thought, at the time, she was right.
Now, I wasn’t so sure.
This felt too much like stepping into the past, and in some delusional way, I was beginning to worry I’d start degenerating the longer I sat there.
Then, the door opened, and I lifted my head to watch as another ghost sat in front of me. The guard he came in with fastened the handcuffs to the table while I stared ahead, unable to tear my eyes away from the last living member of my family.
Levi Stratton.
“You have an hour,” the guard said, addressing us both before turning to me. “If you finish earlier, just bang on the door.”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
He left with a curt bob of his head and closed the heavy door behind him, leaving Levi and me alone for the first time in our lives.
How I had never noticed before that we had the same eyes andnose,I had no idea. I guessed I’d just never thought to look.
He leaned back in his chair, studying me as I studied him. Taking each other in for the first time, apart from outside influences. There was nobody to impress. Nobody to fight—that part was over; it had been for four years.
“So,” he finally said, breaking the silence while steepling his hands on the table.
“So, I guess you’re my uncle.”
Leviactually barkeda laugh. “Sorry to break it toya.”
I tipped my head and shrugged. “It is what it is. Can’t choose who we’re related to.”
He nodded slowly, as if to agree. “I heard you died.”
I held up two fingers. “Twice actually.”
He leaned back in his chair, turning down the corners of his mouth. “Impressive. But it figures a big motherfucker like you would have nine lives.” He twisted his lips and dropped his gaze to the table. “More than I can say for Seth.”
There wasn’t any bitterness or anger in the statement. Only a residual, lingering sadness that I knew all too well.
“I’m sorry,” I told him. Not to apologize for my wife or what she had done to save our lives four years ago. But to offer my condolences fora lossI assumed to be great.
Levi brought his gaze back to mine and lifted his chin in acknowledgment of the subtle olive branch. “Hey, eye for an eye, right? I supplied the shit that killed your best friend; your woman killed mine. And besides”—he shrugged and shook his head—“I can’t say the asshole didn’t have it coming. Something was bound to get him eventually.”
Hearing the confession come from his lips that he was the one who had given my mom the drugs that would end Billy’s life stirred something inside me that had been sleeping dormant for the past few years. I had learned better to live with the grief and sadness while carrying on with life as a husband and dad—a good one, one I would’ve wanted for myself. But that guy had been left at home, and the Soldier Mason of the past fought to keep his hands to himself.
“You wanted to kill my mom,” I accused, knowing the statement to be true.
And Levi didn’t even try to deny it. “Yeah, I did. Or at least, that was the plan anyway.”
He sat up straighter and shifted on his chair, making himself more comfortable.
“Yougottaunderstand something, man. This was never supposed to be my life. We had it good for a long time. I mean, even in that shithole of a town, my family was okay. We had money. My parents had decent jobs. We had a nice house. But David met your mom and went all stupid over her even though my folksmore or less threatenedhim with his life not to see her …” He chuckled sadly before saying, “I guess that isn’t really that funny.
“Anyway, I hated that bitch for what she did to him—well, to all of us, really, but mostly him. He loved her. Would’ve given her thefreakin’ world if he could, and then he knocked her up, and … Idunno. We were all hoping that would be what turned shit around. Like, if David wasgonnainsist on being with Diane, then maybe having a kid would—”
“Save them?” I lifted a corner of my mouth in a sardonic half smile. One I knew he wouldn’t understand.
But he nodded, surprised to find I had gotten what he was implying. “Yeah. Exactly. But, of course, that’s not what happened. She kept the baby—you—from him for who the hell really knows why. I don’t think any of us really got it. Maybe … Idunno. Maybe she was scared my parents would fight your grandparents for custody or some shit. Only God knows what was going through that bitch’s head. But it fuckin’ ruined my brother, man. He wanted you so bad.”
