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I roll my eyes and huff out a laugh. “Making an ass of myself? I think you’ve seen that plenty.”
“Don’t do that,” he says, his voice more serious. “Don’t brush it off like it was nothing. Cole, you were terrified that something had happened to Layna.”
I shrug. “I was concerned. Is that a crime?”
“You might be able to play that off to everyone else,” he says. “But not to me. I know you better than that. So, talk to me.”
My grip tightens on the railing until it’s almost painful, but I can’t let go. Right now, it feels like the lifeline tethering me here. If I let go, I might do something crazy, like run after Layna and kiss her. Or kick her idiot date out of the dinner party. Linc is still waiting for me to speak, but I don’t know how to tell him something I can’t explain to myself. I grit my teeth against the words I can’t say out loud. As if saying them aloud will somehow make them truer. Or more able to hurt me. It’s ridiculous, and I know it. But I can’t say it. Because tonight, when I thought I could lose her, my whole world seemed to stop. Everything I ever thought I cared about disappeared. Everything but her. And I knew the truth. I don’t want to live in a world where she doesn’t exist. Even if she isn’t with me.
When I don’t say anything, Linc speaks.
“Are you in love with her?”
Linc’s words cut through my thoughts, silencing them. Of all the things I’d expected him to say, that’s not one of them. He’s my brother. My best friend, and the one person who knows me better than I know myself. I may have kept mine and Layna’s affair from him, but I can’t lie to him about something this big. Before I can answer though, Linc dips his head in a single nod.
“I thought so,” he says simply. “Then you can’t give up on her.”
“I’m not giving up,” I say. “I’m admitting defeat. There’s a difference.”
“Not when it comes to love,” he says. “Cole, listen to me. I’ve seen you have flings before. I’ve seen you have casual hookups. I’ve even seen you with a serious girlfriend.”
“What’s your point?” I ask. Does he think reminding me of my sordid past is supposed to convince me I’m good enough to be with Layna?
“My point is that in all that time, I’ve never seen you in love. Not once. Until now. You can’t give up on that.”
I give a humorless laugh. “She’s dating someone else.”
Linc waves a dismissive hand. “It won’t last. They’re not a good fit. Besides, that guy is boring. Layna needs someone who’s more fun. Adventurous. Exciting.”
“Someone like me?” I ask sarcastically.
“Not someonelikeyou,” he says. “She needsyou. You just need to show her that.”
He puts an arm around my shoulder and steers me back toward the doors leading inside.
I sigh. “I don’t know how.”
“Lucky for you, I know a thing or two about stubborn women,” he says, opening the door and leading me inside.
“Let me give you some advice, little brother.”
Chapter 24
Layna
As I leave the bathroom, I’m calling myself ten different kinds of fool for that scene on the balcony. I shouldn’t have gone after Cole. I don’t know what I was thinking. It was obvious he was upset. Coupled with my own confused emotions, we were bound to end up… what? Looking into each other’s eyes? Almost kissing? I don’t even know what that was. The further I get from that balcony and that moment, the less real it all feels. I don’t know what to think or feel anymore when it comes to Cole.
I still consider him one of my closest friends. But I’ve never felt drawn to him the way I’d been on that balcony. Not in all the time we’ve spent together. Not even while we were in the middle of the best sex of my life. Something shifted between us tonight. Somewhere between Michael holding up that fork to me and Linc interrupting us on the balcony, something changed between me and Cole. And I’m not sure how I feel about it. Part of me wants to ignore it. Pretend it never happened and go back to being friends. But another part of me wonders about this achy feeling in my chest that seems to grow larger with every step I take away from him. What if it means something? Do I want it to mean something? What if it’s one-sided?
But then I remember the look in his eyes when he realized I was okay. The way he’d looked at me when I’d found him on the balcony. I’ve never seen that look in his eyes before. What if he’s feeling the same way? What if he’s just as confused as I am? I fight the urge to turn around and walk back to him. I can’t. Not tonight.
“There you are! I can call off the search party.”
I don’t know why I’m surprised that Michael is hovering just outside the dining room. He’s smiling, but there’s a look of mild concern in his eyes.
I force a smile. “No need for that. I just went for some fresh air. The dining room is just so full of people that I needed a moment.”
If he has any concerns about my story, he doesn’t show it.
