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“Yeah, I had wanted ten at some point, but worked my way down to five.”
“I can’t even really fucking fathomtwo.”
“Which brings me to my point.” Her tense shoulders finally plummet to the ground. “Everyone has different wants and needs, Tuck. And that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad person for not wanting the exact same thing someone else close to you does.”
“Knowyourneeds,” Rich begins, calling my attention to him, “and give them a voice. The voice doesn’t have to be aggressive or malicious; however, it shouldn’t be meek, either. Be firm in your convictions, but more importantly,understandthem. Understand why you are feeling the way you are feeling and that will make conveying what it is you want your partner to know easier.” His hands fold together in his lap. “Your parents initially had differentwants, Tuck. Your mom wanted to live like the fuckingPartridge Family,” he shoots her a mirth-filled glance, “while your dad just wanted the opposite of what he had growing up which simply put was twopresentparents. They had different surface wants yet underneath them they actually had the sameneed.They both needed the stability that came from havingonechild. Only one extra person whose schedule they had to work with. Only one extra plane ticket to book. Only one extra person to be responsible for day in and day out because they eachneededa life outside being a parent. Which is a very real thingeveryone. Needs.There’s a huge misconception out there that once you have kids, there is no moreyou. There’s justthem.But that’s such a dangerous belief system that does very real, very irreversible damage. It’s one reason why so many marriages crumble as children get older and why empty nest syndrome hits primary caregivers whose sole focus has been that child or those children so damn long.”
Angling my body towards his has me resting my back against the railing.
“Just because you have children doesn’t mean you still don’t haveneeds.It’s why learning to balance caring for them while still caring for yourself is crucial.” Rich takes a moment to adjust his glasses. “Understanding that we’re all just people – whether we’re the parents or the children – is critical to building healthy relationships no matter the age.”
I want that.
Not only with June but with Lo.
I want him to understand he matters as a person whether he’s four or forty-four. Thathis storiesmatter. That they never stop mattering. That they’ll always matter because at least two people in his world will always be there to listen to them.
Is that what the real problem is here?
Am I afraid that having more kids will make it harder to hear him?
Or am I worried that having more kids will make it harder for my wife to hearme?
Chapter 6
Tucker
Leaning to one side of the cream-colored chair, I continue to scrutinize the sketch in front of me.
I don’t know what’s wrong with it.
I don’t know if it’s the shading or the lighting or the fact I’m drawing for all the wrong reasons.
Another surge of annoyance savagely shoots through my chest causing me to toss the pad on the empty seat beside me.
Fuck, I hate being out of paint.
I think the only thing I hate more is knowing that it’s my fault.
That I was the one who insisted we didn’t need the extra art supplies my wife tried to bet would come in handy.
My eyes fall shut on a frustrated huff.
Why the fuck am I so headstrong at thewrongmoments?
Did I get that from Dad?
Shit.
Does Lo get that fromme?
“You’re being very…the…loud…sound thing,” June’s voice sleepily states, calling for my stare to shift her direction.
There’s no denying the way my heart swells in relief from simply hearing the sound of her voice again. “Noisy?”
“Mmhm,” she grumbles while rolling over my direction. “And it’s too…too…not the sun for that.”
A smile helplessly slips onto my face at the same time I lean forward to rest my elbows on my thighs. “You mean early?”
