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“Asshole,” she whispered, chuckling. “Well, sit down, gentlemen. Noah, get another chair for yourself by Bobby’s desk.”
As the four of us sat in front of her, she got on her computer and brought up the property Noah told her our friends were interested in. “Lovely place. Really nice. The family split it up a few years back, making some money on it while taking smaller parcels for those left around here. There were nearly two thousand acres at one time, whittled down over the decades.”
Burke asked, “Have the smaller parcels sold a lot?”
“Sure, sure, a few, but not to anyone much interested in building, if that’s a concern or a deal breaker. Mostly cattlemen, or wannabe cattlemen, horse ranchers wanting new land to park their horses. I think only two new builds are going up, and those are pretty far from this parcel.”
Damon explained, “We don’t mind having neighbors, as long as they’re not right up… in our business.”
“Up your ass, you mean,” she clarified, laughing. “Gotcha. No, nothing that will look onto your home, for sure. You’d be higher up, for one thing, tree coverage. Well, if you liked it, you must have seen it, right?”
“They have. We drove them around quite a bit,” Noah told her.
“Well, I can take you back and let you look through the house and the guest house, the outbuildings. It’s zoned for business and residential, so you can have horses, cattle, whatever, and sell them from the place.”
Damon said, “We’d like some animals of our own, but not to sell, but we would like to have… geez, how do I put this?”
Noah laughed some and told Damon, “She’s not some stuck-up thing, Damon. She won’t mind none.”
She looked from one to the other as if watching a game of basketball. “What… are you guys talking about?”
Burke answered, nervously, “A special club for people to visit now and then. Maybe build on another residence, for guests to stay in while they enjoy the club. It’s for… adults.”
“I see,” she said, and her already dark skin grew a shade darker as she blushed. “Oh, my, that will be an addition.”
“We don’t want the locals to know and… well, hate us for it. It’ll be for out-of-town guests,” Burke was quick to explain.
“Honey, we know how to mind our own business around here. As long as no one is flaunting sex toys or walkin’ around naked, I think you’ll be fine. Now, I’ll check into zoning and licenses, but for private clubs… I’m not sure what they will call for. Plenty of private hunting clubs around.”
Damon spoke next, impressing her. “The county itself has no opposing laws about this type of club. The most we’d have to contend with is building permits, liquor licenses and such as that. To have people staying, we could go the route most have that place their homes on apps like Air BnB. The liquor would give us the hardest time, but the guests can have liquor in their private spaces, killing the need for that license, as, well, we don’t believe in drinking beforehand… in our lifestyle.”
“You mean you’re proposing a BDSM club?”
I was as shocked as the rest of my group that she knew that, but we shouldn’t have been. It had become much more mainstream. “Yes,” Damon said after swallowing his surprise.
“I see. Well, the neighbors would be the problem. I’m sure opposing such a thing, but you have few neighbors, and none, like we said, that can just look over a fence and see what’s going on. Maybe, if the opposition comes up, if this goes public, assure them of an inner fencing that guests won’t cross, if they choose a more… natural experience.”
“Of course! We’d never risk anyone seeing things they don’t choose to see.”
“Good. Well, I don’t see any problems now, but there are always problems. You could always have a retreat for city folk, like you said, to come and stay, and instead of an arcade in the lobby, you have whips and chains in the… what building would you use?”
“The guest house,” Burke answered. “Or that would be for guests, and we’d build the area for the club itself.”
“More building permits, and those can be touchy around here for certain things, but for private spaces, not so much. The taxes would get you, the more you build, but I’m sure you thought of that.”
Damon, again, impressed her. “There will be an increase in property taxes, of course, with the additional building. However, if we use solar and energy efficient materials, we can offset that increase considerably.”
She sat back in her chair, smiling at him. “Handsome and smart. Don’t get a lot of those through here.” She sat back at her computer, and without a look at any of us, added, “And if you repeat that, I’ll tell everyone you’re up there screwing cows.”
Noah burst out with laughter, though Burke and Damon took a moment of shock before they joined in the laughter.
Before we left the office, she’d written up the contract and had them sign, then she put in the bid for the property, and assured them it would be viewed seriously and likely taken.
We stopped for lunch at a small diner on the way out of town, and Noah introduced us to a few more people that I’d never met. They all welcomed me with handshakes and warnings to watch Noah, as he was an old-so-and-so.
On the way back home, Damon and Burke bickered some over the name of the club, over how they’d set it up, little things that were fun to listen to as Noah smiled the whole time. Joel took off like a shot when we arrived, but in that short time before he got in his truck and sped off, in reverse, he stared hard at our two guests.
“He is a sweet little thing, isn’t he?” Damon asked, watching the truck.
