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Intimidation. Those subtle or not-so-subtle threats that Doms made to settle fear into their subs. That tingling sense of dread at what might happen, how much it may hurt, how little control we’d have…
It was better than drugs, as I’ve explained, but it was a drug, if you think about it. The adrenaline, the endorphins, all rushed into me when I was in a scene with a good Dom.
The former was pumping right then, setting all my skin to be more sensitive, my brain to be alert to each and every sound, sight and movement.
It was something I lived for, and Noah had a definite knack for it.
“When I get that bit you saw on the computer, it’s gonna hold you in place for me much better, but for now, I’ll make do.”
Making do was Noah speak for torture. I had the sneaking feeling, and I was there for it. He got the leather reins and tied my wrists, then looped them around the top corners of the cage in the back, so I was facing the back of it. My ankles were tied the same, so I felt like a Vitruvian Man. Next, my beautiful Dom took out the handkerchief he always had with him, one of the first things I noticed about him besides his beauty. He’d taken it out on that faithful day, wiping the sweat from his brow with it. I’d seen him practice the same act a hundred times or more in the following weeks.
It smelled like him, his soap, his sweat, his skin, and he placed it around my eyes, folded roughly so two corners hung down together over my nose.
I took in the scent of him, and in my mind, all the times I’d been near his body, the scent of him coloring my thoughts of love and lust, surrounding me.
I was shaking with excitement and anticipation, and he ran a hand over my t-shirt, soothing me. “Ain’t gonna fuck you yet, boy. Just want you ready for me now that your chores are done.”
“I’ll be here,” I said, chuckling a little, though my body was so aroused, all of me, that it came out as a croak instead of real laughter.
The flap of bandana over my nose was lifted and Noah moved in to kiss me. “Are you going to be okay if I leave you for little bits at a time?”
“I’ll be okay. I’m not going to freak out, Sir.”
“What happened to Daddy?”
I swallowed, as I knew the question would come up eventually, and I thought, possibly, I had an answer. “Sometimes, I don’t know, Noah, you feel like a Daddy that takes care of me and wants to just love me, then, like now, you’re a Sir that wants to fuck me hard and whip the flesh off my bones.”
He chuckled right on my lips as he kissed me, and I thought the answer must have been right. “Good boy. You read me well,” he said, then moved back a little. “I guess, with you, Iamboth.”
It was the truth. There were times with Noah that I felt so secure and protected from the world, and his arms around me, hand on my chest above my heart, he’d set his chin on my shoulder, they didn’t feel like the stern, hard hands of a Dom. Others, I saw a glimmering in his icy blue eyes that screamed out in warning, that pain was coming, and pleasure was going to be rough.
And I needed and want both of them.
“I’m going to FaceTime you, and I’ll answer since you’re tied up at the moment,” he said with a little too much glee. The sadistic fucker. “And I can watch you from my phone. That way, if you get in trouble, or panic, I’ll be back here quick as Tawny flicks the flies off her ass with her tail.”
The visual was funny, but my throat was still too constricted to laugh much. “Yes, Sir,” I managed.
Before anything, he set the little bell bracelet on my wrist, right near the leather strap. I still hadn’t figured out what it was for, as I wasn’t usually gagged, but every time, without fail, if we were in a scene or having sex, it was on me.
I heard the ringing for FaceTime and then it stopped abruptly, and soon after that, and after a smack to my ass, he was gone.
I’d never had that happen before, where a Dom would leave me alone for a long amount of time, and still could watch me. It told me a lot about Noah that I already knew, but it confirmed it solidly for me.
He was never going to just leave me. His concern over me was apparent and his love more so. He’d leave me to think about what might happen, to become aroused or nervous, but he’d never chance me freaking out and panicking without being able to bring me back to the ground.
I felt my eyes welling with tears over that, having someone that cared for me so much. I never doubted it, not consciously, but in the depths of me, there was still a guy that wondered, hey, would he tire of me? Would I always be enough for him?
Then, he did something, like using the phone to watch for my safety, that let me know, he’s different than anyone. I don’t know if it was fate, but breaking down where I did changed my life.
Letting those thoughts leave me, I did as he’d asked me to do before, and in the quiet of that huge space, in the cage where I was being kept, I pointed to what would be the best way for me to please him.
Taking inventory of my body, I stood as tall as I could with my legs spread the way they were, and I thought about enticing Noah, letting my ass move backward, flexing it a little I sucked in my stomach, let my chin raise and I stood as a proud submissive.
It wasn’t fake. I knew some people would look down on me for being submissive. They’d think me weak, pathetic, but they had no idea of the power that surged through me when I kneeled for a man.
I felt more strength than I ever had in my life, because it took me putting all my own ego aside, the bullshit taught to me by society. So, I stood proudly, hoping he was looking at the phone right then, because I smiled.
I heard him coming, his boots walking along the cement floors, a scrape, a step, and the closer he got to me, the more I smiled.
