Page 100 of Hog Tied


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I needed to let down my guard, required to be vulnerable and fragile, and Ryan let me do that. Eventually, Theo would too. Theo and I spoke about it, how, when he learned all the ropes, literally and figuratively, he’d dominate me once in a while when I needed it.

Where did that leave Brett and Ryan? Our friends, our neighbors, and men we loved nearly as much as each other. We all agreed that Ryan was always Brett’s priority, as Brett was Ryan’s, and it went the same way with Theo and me. Perhaps that conversation had shown me how much Theo truly loved me better than any of it. He loved them too, but I was his, and he was mine.

The club was jumping. For all Burke’s worries that opening weekend was a fluke, there were more leather-clad men there, more smiles, more groans from the other booths, and more feet taking the stairs to the private rooms.

“Hud, if you’re more interested in what’s happening around us than in this booth, I think I’ll have to find ways to keep your attention.”

Theo snorted, and Ryan’s hand reached quickly across the table to grab his throat. “What was that?”

Theo quieted, and I looked up at Ryan. “I’m sorry, Sir. I’m…nervous.”

“That’s to be expected, but not a fucking excuse. Keep your eyes on this table.”

Brett turned to Ryan and asked, “Can you take him to a quieter place and speak to him? He’s got to go first, Master.”

“I was going to, Brett, not because you spoke out of turn. What the fuck is with the three of you? Good slaves, until I bring you in public, you want to humiliate me with your disobedience.”

We all looked up at him; the sorrowful faces must have been enough to ease him. He began to laugh and curse us at the same time. “This is not fucking fair.”

Theo cautiously asked, “What can we do to improve it?”

“You move, let Hud out and like my little fuck, here, mentioned, let me talk to him privately.”

We left the booth and went outside, moving to the side of the barn, where the snow wasn’t deep. It was cold without our coats, but Ryan didn’t notice as he took me into his arms and pressed me to the side of the barn. “Talk to me freely.”

“It scares me. We only practiced.”

“You know what you’re doing, or did you lie to me?”

“No. No, but it’s…us. It’s all of us, and this is…it’s like telling everyone we’re…”

“Not normal? That’s the part bothering you, isn’t it? You’ll be seen as something other than the strong dominant man?”

I nodded, then laid my head on his shoulder. He was strong, he was sure, and he was there to take my worries. I’d never appreciated that part of the D/s relationships when I was the Dom, even though I’d tried to be there for my subs. The other side of it was terrifying for me.

“You’re so beautiful, Hud, for worrying. You’re a big man, always had people looking at you a certain way. I was too. I went to that dungeon, and in my first years, I knelt for men half my size, but I learned that part of me needed that. I could let go of all those fucking expectations placed on me because of my size and who I was. There’s no shame in that, no matter your raising or ingrained perceptions. It was Brett that truly taught me that.”

He moved me so he could look into my eyes while holding my face gently. “That little man is stronger than I am by leaps and bounds, and I see the same in Theo. They can teach us how to be stronger on our knees than any other man standing upright.”

The cold settled on me, but his face and hands warmed me through. “Ryan…no matter what, when you and Brett move in a few days, and you’re not with us all the time, you know that…”

“That you love me? That you love Brett? I know that. We love you and Theo like you’re a part of us, which you are. We’ll have separate homes and separate lives most days, but in our hearts, we’re always together.”

“I’ll miss you.”

“You’ll have Theo all the time. Be good to him; make him good to you. And we’re down the road when you need us.”

“Okay, and when he’s on my last nerve, I’m trading him for Brett for a few days.”

Ryan laughed and said, “Good. Expect him back with welts and a sore jaw.”

We went back into the club, and when we sat, Theo was staring at me, concern darkening his beautiful eyes. I whispered, “I’m fine. I swear.”

“I love you, Master.”

“I love you.”

I looked at Brett and mouthed the words to him as Ryan slid beside him. He mouthed then back, and we both set our eyes back solidly on the table until Burke took the stage and announced us.

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