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“What the…fuck?” Burke whispered. “Hud?”
“He’s unable to speak right now,” Ryan informed them, and Burke’s smile grew; oh, that’s what I heard anyway.
“Well, fuck. Good for y’all,” Burke said, then caught himself. “Fucking Joel is rubbing off on me.”
Damon was cracking up. “Next, you will discuss soup sandwiches and saving matches.”
Brett giggled, and Ryan snapped at him, “Enough, Brett. Fully in the role now.”
Brett, like me, snapped into the role, and Ryan told Burke and Damon, “We’re preparing for the show, is all. Please don’t think I’m being rude.”
“Are you kidding?” Damon asked breathlessly. “Even I feel like getting on my knees.”
Burke elbowed him, and I smiled despite my stance, and of course, Ryan caught it. “You are earning what you’re getting, Hud.”
“Yes, Master.”
“Mas…” Burke was still in awe. “I’m sorry, but Hud…I watched him for years in the clubs. He was…and now he’s…”
“Babe,” Damon told him, “close your mouth.”
“I can’t. I think it’s permanently like this now.”
“Well, good for me,” he teased.
Joel and Theo came to the table, both excited. Joel sat on Burke’s lap as Theo moved beside me in the booth. “May I, Masters?”
“Of course,” Ryan told Theo.
“Beast and his boys are here, and they’re so happy. They don’t know you both are here yet, but they love coming here, and Joel told them all about me, so they all gave me the sweetest hugs and complimented my outfit.”
“Well, you look yummy, Theo,” Ryan told him.
“Boy, howdy, this is gonna be a time! Sirs, they’re awful excited about later.”
“That might be on hold until much later, Joel; we warned you,” Burke reminded him.
“Oh, hellfire, I know that! I’m jus’ happy as a pig in a puddle for ‘em.”
“I was in a puddle, Joel; it’s not a joy,” Theo told him.
“Enough, Theo,” Ryan said to him quietly. “Prepare for the scene now.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Burke patted Joel’s thigh and said, “Let’s make some rounds. I think these gentlemen need to get ready for later.”
“Thank you both for stopping in on us and everything you’ve done to help us. I’m sure all of us agree.”
Damon laughed, saying, “Yeah, we can barely wait for that.”
I felt the nerves hit, and the doubt came soon after. Burke was right; I’d never considered being submissive to a man. I was the Dom; I called the shots. The thing was, I hadn’t given up that role, not wholly.
What we’d spoken about for days after the revelation of our feelings was the complicated yet simple dynamics of what we all felt for each other, the lifestyle, the fluidity of it, and how over time, we could change or grow into new versions of our old selves.
Ryan was kind, dominant, and sexy, while Brett relished his role as simply a submissive after years of being in charge of other submissives. Theo had a dominant in him that begged to come out and nurtured to be the best he could be, but the other side of him was pleading to be wanted, cared for, and cherished.
Me? Under Ryan’s stern glare, I needed a piece of me to be taken, watched, and helped. My fears and insecurities were sometimes overwhelming, but I pushed them back as far as possible. By raising, suck it up, be strong, and always work hard for whatever you’re doing, no matter what it is. My parents didn’t know any better, as they’d been raised the same way, but there were times I needed…I just needed it.
