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I made everyone sandwiches for lunch, with Joel’s help, as Theo was sitting on the porch with the others.
“Joel, I’m sorry about Theo, really.”
“Makes no never mind ta me,” he said with a shrug. “Anyone that pent-up with hate’s gotta be plum miserable.”
“I think that’s true. I think Theo’s miserable, but he doesn’t know how to be happy. He takes what he thinks is happiness from spending money or being rude and cruel. It’s all he knows.”
Staring at me like he was trying to figure me out, Joel asked, “Ya like ‘im?”
“Excuse me?”
“The ways ya look at ‘mi. Ya like, ‘imp.”
“No, Joel. I…feel bad for him. Like you said, I think he’s miserable.”
“Well, gettin’ a bigun might be what ‘e needs, and ya got one.”
“Joel,” Damon scolded as he came into the kitchen. “We told you about talking about people’s dicks!”
“Sorry, Sir,” he said, hanging his head adorably. “Can’t he’p it. My mouth, it’s got a mind of its own!”
Damon kissed him sweetly. “Go outside and sit with Burke. I’ll finish helping Hud.”
“A’righty then.”
“Sorry, but…he looks, and we haven’t discouraged him because, well, he, in the past, finds some sweet asses for us to play with.”
“I bet he has,” I said, laughing. “You all like being poly with him?”
“Sure. It was one of the reasons Joel okayed being with us fully. He wants to keep playing with other guys, and we do, so it was perfect. Why? You don’t share?”
“I…consider myself poly, but sometimes I think about it, being with one guy, or two, whatever, and settling down, just us. Sure, three guys, poly, sure, but just the three. Then I think, how jealous would I be if I had two guys and they fell harder for each other, and I was left out?”
As Damon started slathering mayo on a couple pieces of bread, he explained, “Nah, that’s just something we don’t consider. I’m in love with them for varied reasons and in diverse ways. Not one more than the other. And then, they have the same. Each couple in a throuple has to be tight and strong for the whole thing to work. I spend time with each away from the third to ensure it’s strong, and they do the same. It’s not easy and takes time, but it helps.”
I suddenly pictured myself with Theo and a man with a blank face, and I knew it was empty for a reason. There was no one. There couldn’t be, I thought. If I took a chance with Theo, he’d have to have all my attention, at least long enough to finally become secure.
“Joel…how’d you know with him?”
“His smile,” Damon said immediately and with a long, sweet sigh. “He was so shy at first, but seeing him smile, struck me right in the chest. It was the same thing I felt the first time I kissed Burke. When you know, you know.”
“Then I’ll be alone forever,” I joked. “I have no fucking clue.”
We ate on the porch, Theo picking off half the bread as he went, and then we returned to work. I was upstairs beginning that floor with Noah and Burke while Theo stayed to help Eli and Damon clean the downstairs rooms we’d emptied.
Joel was thankfully gone to take one of the loads to his mother, who’d be cleaning many of the items.
After I went down for a glass of water, I spotted Theo, as he was tagging along after Eli, and I pulled him aside in the hall. “Why are you following him?”
“I’ll tell you later if you will leave me alone.”
“What? Now!”
Theo grabbed my hand and wrenched it from his arm. “Unhand me, and stop being a pushy monster. I said I’d tell you later.”
“He’s taken,” I said, almost pleading. I didn’t want to get between Noah and Theo, but it was my job. “Noah will try to hurt you.”
“I’m not hitting on a man that just got engaged,” he whispered harshly, leading me to the back of the house and whispering rapidly, “I got a call from someone in the family. If you know what I mean, they’re…low on the totem pole, so I want to see for myself if it might be true.”
