Page 101 of Playing With My Fire


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? Estrella ?

“What are you going to do?”

I barely glance up from my phone. “What am I going to do today?”

Caleb sighs. “No, babe, what are you going to do about tomorrow?”

My gaze shoots up to his expecting to find a hint of a smile because he’s joking, right? Instead, I find concern. More godforsaken concern.

“I’m not gonna do a damn thing.” Even though it hurts just saying those words.

He crosses muscled arms across his chest. “So, you’re just gonna let the love of your life marry a man she doesn’t care for?”

I snort, mostly because I’m trying to contain the sob that’s been trying to burst free since he started this damned conversation. “She’s not the love of my life.” A knife feels like it’s just been plunged into my crumbling heart.

He leans back as though he’s about to throw in the towel, but I know him better than that. It’s a sign he’s only getting comfortable before he really digs in. The man is as stubborn as a bull and as pushy as a nag.

“You may be able to spout that bullshit to anyone else, but we both know it’s not gonna fly with me.”

I throw my phone down. “What do you want me to do, Caleb? She’s made her choice. Doing what mommy says over following her own damn heart.”

He shakes his head in disbelief. “You know, for someone who calls themselves a Domme, you don’t know shit about submissives.”

I jerk back as if he’d just struck me. “What the hell are you talking about?!”

“I’ve never met anyone more submissive than Sakura. She’s been following orders her whole life from one person, her mother. And you just expect her to one day decide that the time has come to simply stop. In what world has a sub ever worked like that? It’s ingrained, Essie. It’s no longer something she does. It’s something she needs.”

I’m suddenly on my feet. “I gave her all of that, but I wasn’t enough.”

He chuckles mirthlessly. “You are exactly what she needs. Her mother is everything a dominant should never be, and Sakura won’t be free from her until she either lets her go, which we both know will never happen, or somebody else breaks her chains.”

I slump back down in my chair in total defeat as his words sink in. He’s right. She tried to free herself and failed. It’s not because she’s not strong enough or unwilling. It’s just not in her nature. Many may see that as a weakness, but giving up so much control takes a ton of bravery.

My baby girl has shown just how brave she is in every step she took toward me. She made it abundantly clear that she didn’t want to get married. And what did I do as she basically begged me to help free her? I threw her away.

“Oh God, Caleb. I royally fucked up.”

He nods, the knowing bastard. “I’m glad we’re finally on the same page.”

I look at him pleadingly. “What do I do?”

“Lucky for you, it’s not too late.”

Chapter Thirty Seven

? Sakura ?

My head is down, my gaze glued to my hands clasped together so tight that the knuckles are bleeding white. I’m allowed this small moment as the loud-mouthed woman who won’t stop talking even after she asks me a question, does my hair.

I’ve been in this hotel room since before sunrise when I was rudely awoken by my mother. She didn’t care that my ears were ringing, that my head was killing me, and my stomach was roiling. Even though she’s the one who insisted I go to a bachelorette party that she put together with her friends and the daughters of those friends.

Only endless glasses of champagne helped me endure all the party favors. The banner labeling me the bride to be. The stupid crown they insisted I wear, and little penis everything. Penis straws, penis balloons, penis streamers… I think you catch my drift. All in all, a lesbian’s nightmare.

I thought it was bad enough when we barhopped. When my maid of honor, a girl I met once who happens to be my groom’s sister, insisted we play games. I tried to talk my way out of it until the dirty looks from my mother began.

Why is she even here?

Then our last stop of the night was a godforsaken male strip club. I didn’t even know such a thing existed. My cheeks blushed the entire time. There wasn’t enough champagne to ease a single second, especially when the main attraction, a buff African American man, dragged me up on stage and humped me hard enough to drag my dress above my panties.

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