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She’s bewildered, but I can’t say that I blame her.
“I know I’ve handled this all wrong, and if I’d only paid more attention, I would’ve seen it so much sooner.”
“What’s that?” she asks breathlessly.
“That you were made for me.”
Her eyes glaze. A single tear escapes that I quickly catch with the tip of my finger.
“You feel it, don’t you?” I ask with uncertainty I’ve never felt before.
Her little hands cup my cheeks, perhaps a bit too harsh, but I barely notice outside the amazement she’s emitting. “Oh, Essie, you make me feel everything. I never knew desire until I found you.”
In the midst of her joy, I see a tiny bit of strain around the edges. I want to ask, but at the same time I don’t want to sully this perfect moment.
“Take me to bed, my Moon Goddess.”
I smile against her mouth. “Gladly.”
For the rest of the night, we show each other with our bodies alone just how much we need each other.
Chapter Twenty Seven
? Caleb ?
Packing up my cabin is bittersweet. Not that I’ll be selling the place, considering my family owned it for generations. It’s been my home since I turned eighteen.
Losing mom and dad at fifteen had been hard, especially both at once. Hit by a drunk driver one night coming home from a baseball game. It should’ve been me and dad, we never missed an opening game for the Rangers since I was knee high to a grasshopper. I’ll never forget the look on my old man’s face when I said I had plans with my boys. I had broken his damn heart, and even though he tried his best to hide it, I saw it as clear as day.
It hadn’t been just wanting to hang with my friends. I had started seeing this guy, Jace, on the down low. More for his sake than mine, considering he was the superstar quarterback. Sure, I played sports, mostly baseball, but I didn’t have the aspirations he had. He did end up making a name for himself, making it all the way to the pros. Imagine my surprise, yet even stranger, my pride, when he came out. Dude ended up marrying his wide receiver.
But back then, living in Texas, it wasn’t exactly hunky dory for the LGBTQ+ community. We were so new and stuck on each other. I knew if I didn’t go to the game, mom would jump at the chance. She wasn’t your typical Texas housewife, preferring baseball caps over hairspray, and jeans and sneakers over dressing to the nines to compete with all the other housewives. She just knew that opening day had always been our thing and settled on going to any other game with us.
I thought I had been so clever knowing they’d go to the game, leaving plenty of time for my boyfriend to do me without fear of getting caught. But instead of my parents coming home long after I sent Jace on his way, I got a knock on the door late at night.
I cringe to this day remembering when I first saw police officers at my door. I had assumed they found out about me and Jace. Instead, it was far worse. In fact, it turned out to be the worst night of my life.
It’s insane how in a matter of minutes your whole world can be flipped upside down before falling apart. The only thing that kept me together after that night was Estrella. We’d always been close, she was just another one of the guys. She was always gorgeous, but she played hard and dirty, and demanded respect. After losing my folks, she became my ride or die, had my back no matter what. She begged her abuela to take me in, otherwise, I’d have to go live with my grandmother in Nebraska.
Living together only further cemented our friendship. It was also the first time we became friends with benefits. The night of the funeral, I was so distraught the only thing that comforted me was any kind of human interaction. One thing led to another, and we skipped the bases and ran all the way home.
My grandmother and I decided to sell my parent’s house, but I insisted on keeping this old cabin. It wasn’t much more than four walls and a roof. When I was a preteen, my dad and I added a bathroom. Otherwise, I would’ve been stuck using the outhouse when I moved in on my eighteenth birthday.
Essie’s whole family begged me to stay, at least until I graduated high school, but it was never my thing. I moved out, got my GED, and found my first job on a ranch. The rest, as they say, is history.
It wasn’t the life my parents had wanted for me considering they both went to college. Dad became a chemical engineer and mom a high school English teacher. But I enjoy my life. I love horses and working outside with my hands. It’s even better now with Beau.
It’s as I watch him carrying box after heavy ass box without even breaking a sweat that I thank my lucky stars. Not only because I find him physically attractive, but because he makes it easy to fall into this life. A life I had learned to believe could never be mine.
I’m taping up the last box when he comes sauntering back inside. I watch him, the smile on my face growing wider as he gets nearer until he’s wrapping me up tight in his arms. “Is this the last one?”
I glance around the open space. All the furniture and kitchen stuff remains, but everything else has been packed up. I try my best to blink away my tears because it feels like the final goodbye to my parents. Even after all these years it still hurts like hell.
“Hey now.” He turns me in his arms, and I automatically lean my head against his shoulder as I allow all my pent up emotions to take over.
Even though we’re still so new, there’s not a thing Beau Watkins doesn’t know about me. In the past few weeks, we’ve exchanged decade’s worth of information. It seems we can’t suck up enough of each other both physically, mentally or emotionally. I never knew two people could meld so completely that they’re practically one. But he’s proven to me that we’re two puzzle pieces that finally found each other and now we’re whole. Poetic words, yes, but also the God's honest truth.
“It’s okay, baby, let it out.” As if his permission is the straw that breaks the camel’s back, I do indeed let it all out.
