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Absolutely not.
For now, all I can think about is getting Eli better.
When the doctor comes out to talk to me, it’s one of the rare times that I’ve come out to check on Maggie, and so Kenna’s with me. Maggie’s asleep in one of the other chairs.
She takes my hand as the doctor explains that Eli has viral meningitis, not bacterial, and so we need to quarantine from him.
“So, he’s going to be okay?” I ask, squeezing Kenna’s hand too hard.
The doctor nods. “In about a week. For now, we’d like to keep him in the hospital for a few days to make sure he responds to medication for his symptoms.”
I let out a long sigh of relief. “Thank you, doctor,” I say, and hug Kenna tightly. I told Kenna that I would call my mother, but I haven’t, not yet. I was too worried that something terrible would be wrong, and we were handling things.
Kenna hugs me back and excuses herself to the bathroom.
When I turn back to the waiting area, Maggie’s awake and staring at me with big hazel eyes.
“Daddy?” she calls.
“What’s up, sweetie?”
“Is Eli okay?”
“He’s sick and you can’t see him for a few days so that you won’t get sick too, but he’s going to be okay,” I assure her.
“Hmm,” Maggie hums. “And are you going to marry Kenna?”
I freeze. “What?”
“Are you going to marry Kenna? Is she gonna be our mommy?”
“Maggie,” I start, but she keeps talking.
“Eli would really like that,” she says firmly, and then looks away. “Maybe I’d like it, too.”
“You would?” I ask softly, but Kenna’s back and Maggie occupies herself with her coloring book as if nothing happened at all.
I look up at Kenna when she arrives and she smiles softly.
“What?” she asks.
I shake my head, my cheeks burning as I look away. “Nothing.”
It’s not like Kenna would forgive me. It’s not like I deserve her. I’m still not worthy of her, and nothing is going to change that. But for a second, I wonder, what if…
It feels awkward sitting there without speaking much to Kenna, but at the same time, there’s not much I can talk to her about with Maggie right here.
I clear my throat after a few minutes. “I’ll be back. Going to call my mother,” I mumble, and head out into the hallway.
My mother answers on the second ring. It’s very early in the morning and I’ve already called into work.
“What’s wrong?”
I never call her this early, so of course she’s worried.
“It’s Eli,” I tell her, and explain his diagnosis.
“Oh, no,” she breathes. "I'll be there as soon as I can.”
