AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Fuck, you feel so good,” Derek whispers close to my ear, rocking up into me lazily, almost sleepily.
His hands reach around to cup my breasts, his thumbs skating across the peaks as I pant.
“Kenna,” he moans against my ear, and my name on his lips sounds like music to my ears.
“Tell me you want me,” I demand, dropping my hand from my mouth.
“I always want you,” Derek responds easily, squeezing my breasts in his hands.
I groan, coming easily with the way he’s angling up inside me, and Derek lets out a string of hushed curses, following me after just a few more thrusts.
He’s always more worked up in the mornings, I found out this weekend.
The pitter patter of little feet sound in the hallway and Derek quickly pulls out of me.
I get out of Derek’s bed immediately and run to the bathroom, hiding in there.
Derek yawns and shifts, and I hear Maggie ask about Eli while I’m standing in the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror.
What am I even doing? Giving in to Derek like I did? Sleeping in his bed?
Hiding in the place I’ve called home for the last few months? And why? Because Derek doesn’t think I’m good enough. I swallow hard. He doesn’t think I’m good enough to be with him publicly, even if I’m good enough to bring into his bed in the still of the night away from prying eyes. But I deserve to be more than a dirty little secret, don’t I? I deserve to be loved.
Eli getting sick made me forget for a while, but I know what I have to do. As soon as Eli is better and home, I’m going to quit this job.
No matter how much it might break my heart.
When I hear Derek leave the room with Maggie, I sneak back to my room, climbing back in the bed and pulling the covers over my head.
The next thing I know, Maggie is taking a flying leap into my bed and my headache jumps back to the front of my head. I wince but Maggie doesn’t seem to notice.
“Kenna, Eli’s getting out of the hospital!” she cheers.
“That’s wonderful, Maggie,” I tell her, and her hazel eyes are bright and she hugs me tightly. I can’t help but smile, hugging her back even with the pain in my head.
Derek comes to the door next. “We’re going to pick him up, now.” He frowns, looking at me in the bed.
“Maybe you should get some more rest.”
I shake my head, sitting up on the edge of the bed. “I want to be with him when he’s released,” I say, biting my lip. I want to see Eli because after he’s home, I’m going to be moving out.
I ride quietly with Derek and Maggie as she chatters in the backseat. I look out the window, my head pounding. I guess I haven’t gotten enough rest or maybe I haven’t eaten enough. After all, I haven’t had a real meal except for a few fries in a while.
I wait in the lobby with Maggie, sitting down so that my knees don’t feel weak, while Derek goes to the back to get Eli.
My vision seems to be blacking in and out, and I’m getting a bit worried when Derek carries Eli out.
“Mama,” Eli says happily, and throws himself into my arms.
I look up at Derek, but he’s just smiling down at Eli, seemingly unbothered by what Eli’s calling me. It breaks my heart to think about leaving him and Maggie, but I don’t know what else to do. How else to resist the man that doesn’t think I good enough or old enough to want to be with me.
I can’t just be near Derek and the kids and keep loving them more and more each day and wanting what I can’t have. I’ll tell him about the baby as soon as I move out. I don’t want him to feel compelled to offer me room and board just because I’m expecting his baby.
I want nothing from him except what I now know he’ll never be able to give me. His heart. We’ll coparent, of course, but I can’t be in that house every day and not be part of the family. It just hurts too much.
My arms go around Eli and squeeze him as tight as I can, but I’m too weak to squeeze hard.
“Eli,” I try to say, but my words seem slurred, and Derek frowns.
