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“We’ll come back when she can have visitors,” I promise.
I pick up Eli gingerly as to not wake him, and Maggie follows behind, holding my hand.
We make it back home and the kids are dead silent, clearly having been through a hard few days.
Eli is stuck to me like glue and both kids end up in my bed that night, asking about Kenna (or in Eli’s case, Mama) and when she’ll be back.
I can’t believe I ever thought that I could ask Kenna to stop working for me. I cannot rip her away from my kids the way that their mother was ripped away.
I have a lot of thinking to do. I have to figure out what I want, between my heart and my brain, and make a real decision.
30
KENNA
When I come to, I’m inside a plastic bubble and my mother is standing over my bed, staring down at me. ”McKenna Anne Lodge,” she gasps. “You scared me to death.”
I blink at her, feeling groggy and realizing that my arm has an IV in it.
“What happened?” I ask, still feeling out of it.
“You fainted because you haven’t been taking care of yourself,” she scolds. “The doctor says you got meningitis because your immune system is low.”
I swallow hard. “Mom—” I start, scrambling to sit up. “I need to speak to the doctor.”
She freezes. “What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well?”
“I just need to speak to the doctor. Right now,” I say harshly, worried about the baby. They don’t know that I’m pregnant, and they need to check out the baby.
“Okay, okay,” my mother says, frowning, and walks out to the nurse’s station to get a nurse.
“Mom, I need the room,” I say, and my mother glares at me. “Please,” I say, my voice cracking, and my mother, who has always trusted me, she trusts me now, leaving the room.
“I’m ten weeks pregnant,” I croak out, and the nurse reassures me they know and all seems fine, but now that I’m awake, she calls in another nurse for a fetal heartbeat monitor.
My heart beats way too wildly but the baby’s heartbeat is strong and normal. I sigh in relief, fighting back tears.
“Do you want me to call your mother in?” the nurse asks gently, and I shake my head.
“No, thank you. I just want to rest.”
I lie down and fall asleep so easily it surprises me when I wake up hours later with a nurse knocking on my door.
She asks if I want to see a visitor and I say yes, thinking it will be my mother. Thinking fast, I throw a blanket over the fetal monitor screen.
Instead of my mother, it’s my father, and he looks pale.
“Hey, Ken,” he says softly, and I can’t help it, I burst into tears.
“Daddy,” I tell him, unable to keep it in anymore. “Oh Daddy, I’m sorry. But…”
My sobs take the best of me. My dad’s eyes widen in panic.
“What is it, honey? Should I go and get someone? A doctor? Your mother?”
I’m trying to shake my head frantically, but it hurts. “No, Daddy, it’s just that…I…I’m pregnant.” And my sobs intensify.
My father blinks rapidly. “Wh-what?”
