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“I’m going to have a baby,” I say, when I calm down a bit, looking away from him, not wanting to see the look of disappointment on his face.
When I look up at him, though, it isn't disappointment but concern I see in his expression.
“The father…” he starts, and I shake my head.
“Can we not talk about him for now? Please?”
I can’t tell him that his ex-brother-in-law, his sister, my aunt’s ex-husband, who is also my employer, is the father of my baby. Not when I haven’t even told Derek yet. He deserves to know that from me.
My father swallows. “Whatever you want, Ken.”
I grab the blanket and remove it from the fetal heartbeat monitor, showing him the strong and steady heartbeat.
“Oh my god,” my father breathes, and sits down hard on the chair by my bed.
“Dad, I’m sorry,” I begin, but he cuts me off.
“You want this baby?” he asked, looking right at me.
“Yes,” I say confidently. “I’ve always wanted kids, and even though this isn’t how I imagined it....” I trail off, not knowing how to explain it.
He takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly.
“I can’t say I’m happy about how it happened, since I didn’t even know you were seeing someone, but I’m excited to be a grandfather,” he says in a low voice, and I can’t stop crying.
I’ve always been such a good girl, always taken care of everyone, and it feels nice to have my father taking care of me.
“Will you tell Mom for me?” I ask hesitantly, and my father nods.
“I wish I could hug you right now, baby.”
“Me too, Daddy,” I say as a few stray tears slide down my cheeks.
He walks outside for a few moments and then my mother comes running back into the room.
“I should have known,” she insists. “I knew something was going on with you.”
“It’s okay, Mom,” I assure her, holding my hand to the bubble as she does the same on the other side, as we both crave each other’s touch even if through sheer plastic. “I’m okay. The baby’s okay.”
“You have to take better care of yourself and that grandbaby of mine.”
I smile weakly. “I will, Mom. Promise.”
“I don’t know who this father is, but if he is out of the picture, we don’t need him,” she insists. “We will help you raise this baby. He’s ours just as much as he is yours, right?”
I can’t tell them who it is, it wouldn’t be fair to Derek that they found out before him, but hearing my mom, I wipe tears from my eyes, grateful that they’re being so supportive.
“Thank you so much, Mom,” I say tiredly. “The dad doesn’t know yet, so I have no idea how he’ll react. But it’s good knowing that regardless of his reaction, I can count on you guys.”
“Always, baby. Now, you need to get your rest,” she says, and I nod slowly.
“I do,” I admit.
She blows me a kiss and walks out the door, and I’m left alone with my own thoughts.
Luckily, I’m not trapped in my own head for long. The doctor comes in with an ultrasound machine, and I get to see for myself the little peanut that’s inside my belly is nice and healthy. I keep thinking about the future, about how I don’t know if I’ll be with Derek and have the family that I want, and I start crying and can’t stop. It’s all too much.
“Please, calm down, Ms. Lodge,” the doctor says gently. “You need to not stress yourself so much, or you might lose this pregnancy.”
