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So, what am I going to do?
Cherie returns with coffee for herself and decaf for me.
I make a face.
“They say caffeine is bad for babies,” she says, and I look down at my stomach, rubbing over the slight swell. I’m starting to get a little pouch, and I guess Derek would have found out sooner rather than later.
“I’ve always wanted a baby,” I mumble. “But I never thought it would be like this.”
“It doesn’t matter how you got the baby,” Cherie assures me. “It’s yours now, and we’ll help you take care of it.”
I smile softly. “I know. I’m not alone.” I sigh. “I guess I’ll go back to school next week and go from there.”
Cherie cracks a smile. “I think Derek will stop you, but that’s just my prediction.”
“Don’t give me hope, Cherie,” I warn, but she just shrugs.
“I saw him downstairs pacing around the cafeteria,” she says. “At least I think it’s him. Tall, green eyes, graying blond hair?”
“That’s him,” I say, my eyes wide. “He’s still at the hospital?”
Cherie nods. “I bet he’ll be back any minute.”
“What am I going to say to him?” I groan, and Cherie laughs. “You’ve already told him everything, right?”
“Everything but that I love him,” I say, and Cherie snorts.
“He already knows that.”
I hit her weakly with the heel of my hand.
Then there’s a knock on the doorjamb, and I freeze.
Cherie stands up as Derek walks in with a bouquet of flowers he’s obviously gotten from the gift shop, and a onesie that says I Love L.A. with a heart in the middle.
I can’t help but laugh through my tears when he hands it to me.
My heart is in my throat as Cherie leaves, and I look up at Derek with wide eyes.
37
DEREK
Ipace around downstairs for about an hour, freaking out. Kenna’s pregnant. It’s mine. I’m the only one that’s ever touched her and now she’s carrying my child. Mythirdchild.Ourchild.
She’s been carrying this secret for god knows how long, and I’ve just been playing with her feelings. I feel like the world’s biggest asshole. No wonder she didn’t tell me.Iwouldn’t tell me.
It’s complicated, how I feel about Kenna. I love her; I know that now, but I also know that she deserves better. I know that she’s young and free and she doesn’t deserve to be tied down to an old man with two kids and a bunch of baggage.
But now that she’s pregnant...
I really have to tell her. I have to tell her how I feel and I have to tell her now, before she disappears to Washington and I lose out on my chance to make her happy and also to be a good father.
I think I know that she has feelings for me, but there’s always the possibility that she won’t forgive me. Hell, if I was in her shoes, I don’t know if I would forgive myself.
I go down to the giftshop and pace around there for a while, looking at the flowers and the baby clothes. I pick out a green unisex onesie, the only one they have, and there’s a cheesy saying on it but I don’t even notice.
There’s only one thing left to do, and I’m dreading it.
