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Chapter Twenty-Eight
Moira
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LEXIE DECIDES SHE HATESsoccer, but playing in the park with all of us helps Jareth win her over completely. It's fun for me, dusting off old skills, though they're definitely not as good as they used to be.
She still pouts when Hendrix and Ryder head home, leaving the three of us alone in the apartment. Jareth cheers her up quickly with the offer to bake cookies together, but I'm a little worried about her need to have them around all the time.
I'm glad she likes them, but it feels like she's missing out on having a father figure or pack in her life during a lonely childhood spent on the move.
Guilt forms a knot in my throat as I watch her wide grin spread across flour dusted cheeks.
If she meets Brad and Nicole, would she respond the same way? Would her craving and desire for pack and family cause her to attach herself to anyone?
Jareth joins me at my table once they get the cookies in the oven and sends Lexie off to clean up. "Are you all right? You smell stressed. Is it bills? Do you need money?"
I jerk my head up to gape at him. “What?"
He gestures at the papers in front of me. “You're going over your finances right now, aren't you?"
I blink. “Oh, yeah. Along with planning my schedule out for the studio."
"Feel free to put me to work wherever you need me. And I get a stipend for being in the program, so I can help with money too."
I shake my head. “It's not finances. The studio is doing okay for the moment and I'll be glad to use your help, but keep your money."
He frowns. “Then what's the issue?"
I rub at my face. “I’m worried about Lexie and her obsession with you and the others. She wants you all to live here with us, constantly. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she likes you, and I'm happy to have you here, I just worry. If things between us don't work out, she's already so attached, especially to Ryder and Hendrix. If her father gets near her, he could twist things and make her believe she could have everything she wants if she goes with him."
He moves to stand behind me, massaging the stress from my shoulders. “You're letting your guilt get to you, huh? Look, you've got an amazing little girl in there. She's happy and healthy and brilliant and kind. You've done a wonderful job raising her. Unless you raised her in a vacuum or a cult, there's no way to protect her from our society and what it tells children from birth. And pack life is the golden standard, even for betas. You know that better than most. Packs are wonderful and there's nothing wrong with wanting one, but the way we're taught we're worthless without one is bullshit."
"So what do I do?" I ask.
"Talk to her. Explain. And trust us to handle things like grownups if for some reason we don't work out and stay in your life and in hers too so she doesn't lose us."
I lean my head back to look at him. “You've gotten wise in your old age."
He smiles down at me. “We're not dumb kids anymore and my parents and pack finally can't stop us. There's a lot more at stake now and we've both been through a lot. Rebuilding a relationship and a family is going to take work, but after so long missing you and searching for you, I can't imagine anything that will get in the way of us finally getting our happily ever after. You're not alone anymore."
His words wash away the majority of the stress and guilt eating at me. Instead of being glad Lexie has so many new people in her life she loves who love her back and enjoying what we're building, I'm worrying about the day it all blows up on us.
