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“I’ll tell you everything. I promise,” Hunter said.
III
“Did you love him?” Sam asked.
They’d walked a long way south and were now at what the locals called the “gay beach” at Hollywood and Ardmore. The city called it Kathy Osterman beach, but no one ever referred to it as that.
“Why don’t we sit? It looks like little Vito is getting pooped out,” Hunter said. In the past few minutes, the dog had slowed his pace and exhibited a lot less interest in sniffing bushes and things like fire hydrants.
“Good idea.” Sam sat on a bench overlooking the beach. The waves rolled in, their white caps made silver by the moonlight. “So, did you? Love him?”
“Is that important to you?” Hunter replied, watching as Vito curled at his feet. The dog continued to prove his trust in Hunter as they walked. Hunter had had the experience before; animals sensed he loved them and would never do them harm. “Is there a reason you want to know?”
“Iloved him,“ Sam told Hunter. “I think back to when we were kids, it was a kind of puppy love. But his disappearance solidified it. If he hadn’t been taken, it might have faded away. Who knows? I certainly can’t say that I even knew Jeb all that well. He was my first crush, my first fantasy lover, the kid I fooled around with a little bit before I even really understood what sex was. So yeah, I’m curious to know if you loved him. And did he love you?”
Hunter stayed quiet for the longest time. The waves rolled in and the sound of them, rhythmic, almost soothing, usurped even the sound of traffic flowing by behind them, where Hollywood curved into Lake Shore Drive. The questions were loaded. They had so much back story behind them that they would be here until dawn’s grayish light filtered over the water. He’dstillbe talking as folks bicycled along the trail, on their way to downtown jobs. Hell, he might still be talking into the darkness of the next day. But for now, his best answer was, “Yes. I loved Jeb. Very much. He was a lifeline. I told you how I died inside when I was taken? When Jeb joined me on our nightmare adventure, I had what I thought was a friend. What was inside awakened a little bit. And because we were forced into what I can only describe as sexual slavery, we bonded very quickly, both as friends and, not long after, as lovers.”
“How about Jeb? Didhefight to get away?“ Sam reached down to scratch Vito behind the ears. “I know you said you didn’t. But what I don’t get is that you two were with this Walker sicko for not weeks, not months, not even years, but decades. Why did you stay? Surely there must have been opportunities to leave.”
There were, Hunter thought, there surely were. But there was the crux of the whole problem and he didn’t know how to explain it. He didn’t know if he wanted to clarify things for Sam because to do so would reveal something he hadn’t even yet hinted at—that Jeb Kleber was a monster.
Hunter knew Sam clung to memory, to nostalgia, to things like crushes and boyhood dreams of forever love.
To destroy that? Why? How? Could Hunter do it?
He and Jeb had reacted differently to their trauma, although the source of that agony stemmed from the same horrible experience. While Hunter became a kind of shell-shocked victim, suffering from what would nowadays be referred to as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Jeb followed a different path.
Hunter had been there to witness it.
The fact was it hadn’t taken Jeb long at all to align with Walker. Jeb was just a kid, so it was difficult for Hunter to level blame at him, but the truth was, Jeb seemed to take to the life. He learned quickly to enjoy seeking out men. Hunter didn’t want to believe it, but he’d seen the transformation with his own eyes. And it happened over the course of weeks, not years. It was Jeb who even introduced blackmail into their games, and that particular crime helped the three to survive, helped fuel—literally—their travels across the country.
In the end, Hunter decided he couldn’t speak his truth, not yet. He’d unloaded so much on poor Sam that he didn’t know what would happen if he told him Jeb had become, either through trauma or an inherent predisposition toward evil, a predator who was, in the end, no different from his captor.
And Hunter had remained by both of their sides. Walker, because he was terrified of the man. And Jeb, because, even though he became something Hunter would never be able to understand, Hunter loved him.
It was a sick, twisted love with no logical basis.
Hunter felt, suddenly, flooded with weariness. His eyes burned. His limbs felt like he’d run a marathon.
He’d said too much.
He hadn’t said enough.
He dodged. “Can we talk more later? It must be well past midnight. You have work in the morning and I have, er, things.” Hunter desperately wanted to see Sam again and would do whatever it took to be near him once more.
“But—“
Hunter cut him off by holding up a hand,stop. “Soon. I’ll tell you everything. Okay? Because you do need to know, Sam. You really need to know. I don’t think you can ever understand, but at least you will have the whole story.” Hunter turned and began walking away from Sam and his dog, heading west, toward the L train that would take him back to the southside and what passed for home. “Your life may depend on it.”
Chapter 14
Now—Sam
I
I woke the next morning surprised that I’d so much as closed my eyes at all the night before. But I had. I had not only slept, but overslept. Brilliant sunlight flooded the bedroom, telling a tale of late morning as opposed to early. I rolled onto my side and plucked my phone off the nightstand. It was just after nine.Damn. I’m gonna be so late for work. Again.
Even though I’d missed far too much work lately with all this unexpected and unwelcome trauma, I decided I needed to call in sick just one more time. I wasn’t certain I’d used up all the personal days I’d been allotted. I shrugged. The worst that would happen is I would lose my job or not be paid for the day. I’d survive.
