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“Sorry,” Devin mumbled as the door slammed shut, but she was curling up in Ashley’s arms, grateful for the solidity of her presence after the uneasy chaos. The numbness ached and being with her friend eased some of the pain, making the world stand still for just a moment.
Ashley didn’t let her rest. She filled the tub and scented the water with a liberal amount of some flowery bath salt before stripping Devin with methodical precision and dumping her in. Scrubbing at her arms as if she could erase the dark smudge of bruises with soap and water, Ashley’s hand faltered over the deep bite that had begun to scar before she avoided it all together.
“Gods, Dev, you’re a mess,” Ash whispered as she wiped away the last trace of ruined makeup.
“I know,” Devin said, eyes growing heavier by the moment. Chest aching, she rubbed at her sternum to ease the slimy cold eating away at her insides.
The slap of Ashley’s hand against her cheek roused Devin enough to climb from the bath, but only just. Bundled in a pair of flannel pajamas and the thick wool blanket Devin loved, Ash deposited her on the couch and began pacing.
“He’ll figure it out eventually,” she said, not even seeing Devin though her blue eyes ran over the small, rumpled body on the couch. “He might not know where I live yet. I don’t think they got my name when I came by there. We’ve got a little time yet.”
Eyes suddenly wide as she dragged in a sharp breath, Ashley fell to her knees beside the sofa, slapping at frozen cheeks to get Devin to focus. “Devin, how’d you get here?”
“Car. Out of gas.”
Ashley muttered a curse, but Devin’s eyes closed before she could track what Ashley did next. What felt like moments later, Devin came awake. It must have been some time, since Ash’s hair was wet from a shower, and she was wearing new clothes. Devin struggled to sit up within her cozy shackles. It’d been a full day, she realized, the windows reflecting back the warm light of lamps against the cold black of night.
“You have to tell me what you want, Dev.” Stern, a determined gleam in her eyes, Ash took Devin’s hands and squeezed them hard.
“What?”
“Do you want to… Did you choose that?” Ash nodded at Devin’s shoulder and what sat hidden beneath the heavy layers of comfort.
“No, I didn’t, but…”
“Do you want it, Devin? I need you to be crystal clear in this, okay? I can help you, but only if you tell me exactly what it is you want.”
“I don’t understand, Ash.”
Voicing a frustrated growl, Ash shoved a rough hand through her hair. Kneeling beside the couch, she took Devin’s hands again and crushed them against her chest.
“You have a couple of choices, okay? We can find you a surrogate, someone to get you through it, until we sort something else out. I’ll kill the fucker myself if I have to.”
Devin thought she’d be horrified at the very thought, but all she felt was numb. That hollow ache once residing in her chest had grown, a creeping malice that spread through her entire body. Devin snuggled deeper into the blanket, deep furrows etching her forehead. “What’s the other?”
“I… I can take that from him. I’m not making this offer lightly, all right? But you know me, and it’d be easier than some stranger. I’ll get you out of here. I’ve got family out west. They’ll help us, keep you safe. Fuck, my mom will be overjoyed and probably bake you cakes every day.”
“But Ash, you don’t want to be with an Omega.” Her thoughts molasses thick, Devin was having too much difficulty keeping the thread of the conversation. She knew it was important, understood it upset Ash, but everything slipped sideways and rolled.
“I know, baby, but it’s you, okay,” Ashley said through a purr that licked along Devin’s spine. Not draining the tension away, never forcing it, but trying to give Devin space in the fear Ashley thought tangled her up.
Devin wasn’t afraid. She didn’t feel a damned thing.
“You’re my best friend. You know all my quirks and bad habits. We could make that work,” Ashley was saying, seeming as if she was trying to convince herself as much as Devin. “I know you’re not that into women, but I can show you. It can be good between us.”
“Ash, no.” Devin disentangled their hands, patting Ashley’s arm to soothe the sting of her rejection. “You don’t want some damaged Omega, and I don’t want to ruin your life.”
“Don’t dismiss it out of hand, Dev. Think about it. If you really don’t want me, then okay. Fine.” Ashley sighed, rocking back onto her heels, though she couldn’t hide the perturbed cant of her lips. “We’ll find you someone else then. I can get my cousin Max down here. He’s a good guy, maybe likes his motorcycles a little too much, but he’s good people. He’ll do it.”
“No.” Devin groaned, shuffling her way free of the thick blanket. “I’m not fucking up anyone else’s life.”
“Wait… Fuck me, do you think you screwed up that asshole’s life after whathedid to you? I saw you that day, Devin! You looked like someone put you through a meat grinder, and don’t try and tell me he was carrying you off to get medical attention.” Ashley scoffed, lips twisting into a something between a sneer and a snarl.
“I fucked up my own life, Ashley,” Devin said as she rose on unsteady feet, gripping the arm of the couch when her knees tried to fold. “I had every chance to back out and make it right, but I didn’t. I could have gone home, could have come to you, but I did what I did instead.”
Devin sighed and moved her death grip to Ashley’s shoulders, leaning forward to put their foreheads together. They stood there, a frozen moment in time where Devin gathered all the strength remaining to her and came to a decision.
“You’re my best friend, too, Ash, and I love you dearly. But right now, I need you to find something I can wear and… and to take me back.”
